The Birth of Horatio

March 10 was my sister’s wedding and the week leading up to it was my spring break. So I spent that week soaking in my last days with Virginia as my only child, cleaning the apartment, and helping Amanda prepare for the wedding. Virginia and I were both in the bridal party as Matron of Honor and Flower Girl. The ceremony and reception were beautiful and we were glad that we made it through without Baby Nelson trying to get born.
We visited with some family on March 11 and I prepared to return to school the next day.
That night I was lying in Virginia’s bed with her, trying to help her get to sleep, which was proving very difficult after so many days of excitement. I was in there with her for a long time and I was becoming very uncomfortable. Her bed hadn’t been comfortable for me once the baby belly started growing, but I was also having other problems. I was having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and I needed to pee so I was slightly in pain. Finally I gave up and asked John to hang out with Virginia until she fell asleep.
I used the bathroom, took a shower, put on pajamas, and drank some water to try to get the contractions to settle down. I did some things on my computer while I drank and waited for John to get Virginia to sleep. I didn’t really stop having the contractions, but I had been having a good number of Braxton Hicks in the preceding days so I didn’t think much of it. I was feeling better, but not very tired.
John came out, I said goodnight to him, and tried to go to bed. I still wasn’t very tired and I kept having contractions so I was having trouble falling asleep. John came to bed. We talked for a little bit and I told him I was feeling funny, but I wasn’t jumping to conclusions. I tried again to sleep.
I got up a couple of times to use the bathroom and around 1:30am I began to think that the pain I was feeling wasn’t a combination of Braxton Hicks and a full bladder, but actually painful contractions. I got out my phone to use the contraction timer I had just downloaded that day. As I was doing that Virginia woke up, came into our room and got in bed with us. She came right over to me and said, “Hi Momma!” I gave her kisses and continued to time contractions as she snuggled in and went back to sleep.
I could see pretty quickly that the contractions were averaging out to about a minute in length with 5 minutes between contractions. Regular enough to call the midwives, but I wanted to time for at least half an hour to be sure. I got up to drink more water and have a granola bar.
At 2:00am I called Debbie to tell her what was going on and she said it looked like things might be going fast (again) so she would come over. I think that’s when I actually started taking this seriously that I was going into labor.
I e-mailed my sub and a few co-workers and woke John up so we could start getting things ready. By this time I was having to stop during contractions to breathe and sway, but I was still able to get sheets on the futon.
Part of our original plan had been to have my sister come over to help with Virginia. But, she and her new husband were out of town that night on a mini-honeymoon. I told John not to even tell her what was happening until after the birth so she wouldn’t try to come. I really wanted her to enjoy the whole wedding experience.
John called his mother to come over and help with Virginia.
I sat on the birthing ball for a little while and John and I started watching Glee. Debbie, Lacy, and John’s mom all showed up soon. As the pool got water in it and the contractions became a little more painful I got in, and we kept watching Glee. Virginia stayed asleep in our bed, even without us in it.
After a few episodes of Glee I was starting to think that this labor might actually be easier than my last. The contractions were far enough apart that I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed. They hurt, but I was handling it pretty well. And I was pretty lucid, not in that labor trance for hours.
The thing was that the last time, when I was ready to push, it wasn’t a strong urge, just a subtle feeling. So I was looking out for that this time. I didn’t want to have unbearable contractions because I needed to push and just didn’t realize it.
After a while I began to feel a little like I might need to push and bearing down slightly felt better than not doing it, so that’s what I did. But after letting me do that for several contractions, Debbie wanted to check to make sure I was fully dilated...and I wasn’t!
She said I hadn’t caused any swelling, so I tried to be grateful for that and not too disappointed. She also wanted me to try some other positions for a while to get things moving since I was wanting to push. I lay on the futon for several contractions and I felt like I could almost fall asleep in between. But then the contractions hurt so much sleep wasn’t happening. After that I tried the balance ball again.
It was morning and we decided Virginia should go to day care so she could have a normal day and I could have fewer people around during my labor. John’s mom got her all ready and took her. I was kind of glad that I got to see her before I started to be in too much hard-to-bear pain. I had been preparing her, but I still don’t know how she would have handled it. (John has admitted it was hard for him to watch.)
After the birthing ball I sat on the toilet, sat on the floor, and got back in the pool. Pretty much any position was starting to feel wrong and uncomfortable. I was starting to feel like I couldn’t take the pain and I was afraid that I still couldn’t push. I thought I knew what to do with pain like that, how could I just endure it and do nothing?
I had just gotten up the courage to ask if I could please push again, knowing it would mean another exam, which would cause another contraction, which I just didn’t know if I could take. I had a couple contractions, not knowing when I would be ready to agree to the exam, when I pushed a little and felt the baby move down just slightly. I told them I had to push and wanted to be on the birth stool now.
No one argued. I was on the stool almost instantly. I pushed with the next contraction, bracing myself for the pressure of the baby moving through the birth canal. I was shocked and terrified when I immediately felt the baby crowning. Debbie told me I was doing well with the “little pushes” to get the head out. What else could I do? The contraction hurt too much for me to stop pushing and the pressure hurt too much for me to push as hard as I wanted to. The head came out and it still hurt so I kept pushing. The body came out and went into my hands. It still hurt so I kept yelling while John was sobbing beside me that we had done it!
Finally I started to calm down and I realized that my hand was cupping what felt like boy parts. “I think we have a boy.” I told John. So we looked, and that’s what it was. Our son, William Horatio Nelson, born March 12 at 8:47am.
I didn’t even know when my water had broken, but apparently it was just before Horatio was born. I now imagine him being washed down the birth canal on a tide of amniotic fluid.
I lay down immediately and held Horatio on my chest. We took some precautions since I had too much bleeding with Virginia, but that actually didn’t happen this time. The placenta was born after a few minutes. Horatio took a little while to adjust to being Earth-side, but I think his entrance was as traumatic for him as it was for me. Soon he was alert and nursing.
I was anxious about the fact that he was 2 weeks before his due date. Technically “full term” but not as plump as a later full term baby. He weighed 7 lbs, which I think is not too shabby for only cooking 38 weeks. And he nursed with no problem.
There was some meconium in the amniotic fluid, but Horatio’s lungs were clear both during his first exam and at the post-natal two days later. There were also infarctions on the placenta, so Debbie said that was probably as big as he could have grown on the inside. I had felt a little guilty, like I had gone into labor early because I had been doing too much. But now I can focus on the fact that I grew the biggest, healthiest baby I could during the time I had.
I am glad that he is here and I am doing everything I can to keep growing him big and healthy.