When Parents Try to be "Spontaneous"

Saturday morning. After breakfast.

John: [whispering] Come in the bedroom with me.

Me: [to the kids] Hey, guys? Um, I'm going to help daddy...get ready for his shower. You guys get dressed and then go downstairs and play.

Bedroom door closed and locked.

Virginia: [outside the door] Momma? Daddy? ... Momma-Daddy!

Me: Please go down stairs.

Virginia: I have to tell you something.

Me: Tell me in a few minutes.

Virginia: It's just one sentence.

Me: Fine. Say it through the door.

Virginia: Horatio put his shirt on upside down.

Me: Okay. I'll help him in a few minutes. Please go downstairs and play.

Playing noises. Right outside the bedroom door.

Horatio: [car rolling noise] Vroom! Vroom! Ah![crying] So'tes scatch me. He scatch me with his mowf. [crying]

Me: [whispering] You think Socrates bit him?

John: [whispering] No. I'm sure he's fine.
[louder] You're okay, dude.

Horatio: [more crying]

Footsteps down, then back up the steps. Xylophone music. Right outside the door.

Virginia: [singing and playing the xylophone] Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony...

Horatio: [crying]

Virginia: [singing and playing the xylophone] Mr. Horatio went to town, riding on a Socrates...

Horatio: [crying]

Me: [whispering] Kind of hard to "get ready for a shower" with all this singing and crying right outside the door.

John: [whispering] You think?

Me:...

John: [whispering] Yeah.
[louder] Okay, Horatio, we're coming. Let's see your scratch.

Door opens.

(Note: There were no visible marks on Horatio. Apparently he had been rolling his cars into the cat and found out that cats don't like that game.)

Virginia speaks in rhetorical devices

Virginia and Horatio have a storyteller/librarian and lawyer for parents. Sometimes they speak...uniquely.

For instance, I've begun to notice that Virginia works rhetorical devices into her everyday speech.

The other day, when I was combing her hair, she said, "Momma, I'm not going to mention the knots over on the other side." Praeteritio! Bonus points because this was one of Cicero's favorites.

Then, at dinner this week she was talking about her day, when she commented that two things go together "like goblins and wolves." Metaphor! Analogy! And more bonus points for The Hobbit reference. (We just got to the part where the eagles help everyone escape.)

She and her brother also make extensive use of repetition. "Can I have bunny gummies? Can I have bunny gummies? Can I have bunny gummies?" It is not as poetic or persuasive, but it does have an emotional impact.

I better start thinking of good reasons now for why she can't borrow the car as soon as she turns 16. If I don't stay sharp, by then, she may be able to out-argue me.