The Good Ship Poopypants

I realized recently that I use nautical metaphors when talking to Virginia on the changing table. I give her a toy or book to play with while I am changing her and when she gets tired of it she tends to throw it "overboard."

That one has been around for a while, but a new nautical phrase has just joined diaper change time. Virginia is much better about putting her hands on her bottom than she used to be but, once her entertainment has gone overboard the hands sometimes wander in that direction. A couple weeks ago I found myself exclaiming, "No hands below deck!"

All this nautical nonsense leads me to conclude that the changing table is actually a ship. Now, where it's headed...? I'll let you know. It has to smell better than where it has been.

What I Love About Me

This post is a response to a post by The Feminist Breeder.

I don't normally think of myself as the self-loathing type, and yet, when presented the challenge of complimenting parts of my own anatomy my first thoughts were of all the parts that would be better if...

I gave birth a year ago and I still think of myself as being under repair. Unlike TFB I did not escape without stretch marks, and even though I have only had one child my belly skin has suffered damage that may never get better. How do you love that? I think that is a challenge for another day.

Instead, let me tell the story of how I came to love another part of myself: my nose.

My heritage is mostly Italian and English, meaning that the large nose gene was virtually inescapable. My nose is not small.

I hadn't thought much about it for the early part of my life, but as so often happens, I had to first hate my nose before I could love it. And as so often happens I couldn't hate it until someone else told me I should.

I was visiting family in Long Island and while I was changing in a bathroom an older third cousin I barely knew, disguising her voice, yelled through the door, "You have a big nose!" I was embarrassed and pretended I didn't hear, but the seed was planted.

I suddenly realized that I had a big nose. And what can you do about a big nose? You can't wear clothes that cover it up or flatter its shape. You can't hide it under make-up. No, you wear your shame, literally, on your face.

So, my world didn't totally crumble or anything. Life went on, but just with this little buzzing in the back of my mind that I was unattractive in a way I simply couldn't hide.

And then years later I was reading a magazine for teen girls. (Yes, a magazine helped me feel better about myself. How is that for twisted?) There was an article on wearing make-up and accentuating traits that sometimes people try to hide, like wide-set eyes and BIG NOSES. What?!! Draw more attention to it? But the girl in the photo was beautiful and not just because of her make-up but because she was owning who she was. She had a big nose and she loved it. She loved it enough to say, "Hey, look over here. Look at my nose."

From then on I decided to love my nose. And I did. And I do.

Life Isn't Fair

When I was growing up the "f" word in our house was "fair." As in, we weren't supposed to say it. If I ever uttered the phrase "That's not fair!" the obligatory parental response was, "Life isn't fair." If the goal was to get me to stop complaining that things weren't fair, this was successful. I didn't like hearing that life wasn't fair and avoided talking about fairness altogether.

But, I was really bothered by the whole "Life isn't fair" thing. Because, on the one hand, life isn't fair and I know that sometimes you need to accept that. But on the other hand, sometimes grown-ups do things that either seem, or legitimately are, unfair. Just because unfair things happen that we can't help, does that mean we should give up on being fair ourselves?

Then, I read The Princess Bride. There is a quotation in this book: "Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." Strange as it may sound it brought me peace. It made me feel like it wasn't wrong for me to want things to be fair. It made me feel like there was a point to putting up with things that aren't fair. Life may not be fair, but it is fairer than death.

John's father died unexpectedly this past Sunday. He was dear to many people and his absence has brought a lot of sorrow. And these two things are connected. We wouldn't be so sad if he hadn't been so awesome. Death isn't fair. It is hard to accept that he is gone. But life is fairer than death because for a while he was a part of our lives and now we live on to touch others.

Hold your families close this Christmas and try to be fair. Because life isn't.

Sleepy John

Sometimes when John is half asleep he says funny things. The other morning when I came out of the bathroom John (still in bed) rolled over and said, "Sorry I was no help last night and this morning."

Virginia has been waking up at night again off and on. But that night she hadn't woken up. So I said, "I didn't need help with anything."

"Good," said John, "Because I wouldn't have gotten up."

I don't think he meant that. He is pretty good about helping out.

That's when I realized he wasn't really awake.

Nightmare Before Christmas

One of the homes I drive by on my daily route has a large square-based pillar near the road. For Christmas they have wound red ribbon around the normally white pillar. As I come around the bend in the road and see the pillar it looks a bit like a red brick chimney.

And anyone who is familiar with Tailypo knows that a chimney with no house around it is inherently creepy.

Yes, unfortunately, their decorating attempt makes me think less "Ho Ho Ho" and more "Tailypo, tailypo, I got my tailypo..."

Telephone

Among the many awesome toys that Virginia got for her birthday was a Fisher Price rotary telephone.

This is amazing for a few reasons:

1. Do they even make actual rotary phones anymore?
2. I think my grandmother, who gave Virginia the phone, had one very much like it in her play room.
3. Virginia loves it.
4. Virginia has never seen a rotary phone before.
5. Somehow she still seems to know that it is a phone. (She holds it up to her ear and talks!)

One Year

Virginia will turn one year old tomorrow at 7:44 pm.

We had a party for her this afternoon with family members. Virginia got lots of neat loot and she had her first cake and ice cream. I think the best thing about the party, though, was to see how many people adore Virginia, and to see her so happy to be interacting with everyone.

It has been an interesting year. It is hard to believe she was so brand new and tiny such a short time ago. It is also still hard for me to believe I'm a mother!

If you haven't yet had the privilege of reading Virginia's birth story in full uncensored detail, feel free to read it here. The one thing I forgot to put in the story (I was bound to forget something, right? I had a lot on my mind...) was that during the toughest parts of labor, looking into John's eyes helped me focus, relax, know that I could go on. Well, the hard work doesn't end when the baby is born. That is just the beginning! During the last year John has helped me through many a sleepless night and poopslposion. I couldn't do this without him.

Deja Vu All Over Again

When I worked for the public library several years ago I commuted for a while before getting my own apartment. One day a week I worked late and drove home in the dark. In the fall sometimes it was very windy and leaves would fly around. It was on one of those nights that a bat flew into my car. It looked like a leaf and I had no warning that it was coming. It left a tiny crack in my windshield.

A week or two later I was driving home in the dark and talking to John on the phone. It was windy and leaves were flying around. I told John I was gong to get off the phone with him because the last time there were leaves flying around a bat flew into my..."HOLY CRAP!" That's right. A bat hit my car AGAIN. This time it bounced off the side.

Fast forward to the present day.

When I get Virginia ready for a bath I strip her down, let her stand in the bathroom naked - holding onto the side of the tub, then fill her little ducky tub with water. Two baths ago, while Virginia was standing in the bathroom, she peed all over her legs, feet, and the bathroom floor.

Before her last bath time, when I took off Virginia's diaper, I noticed that it was dry. I said, "You're not going to pee on the floor again, are you?" Then I let her stand in the bathroom naked while I filled her tub.

She peed on the floor again. This time she danced around in it, or just tried to get it off her feet (picture a cat walking in snow).

So I am left wondering, am I clairvoyant or just bad at learning from my past experiences?

It's All Greek?

My fifth graders are working on book talk projects. One group made a film yesterday and wanted me to help them with a pronunciation before they started rolling.

A group member came to get me saying, "We don't know how to pronounce this word. The book has a lot of Greek in it."

The book they are book talking is part of the Percy Jackson series, so I was thinking they needed help with the name of a god or monster. You know, a word that was, as they said, Greek.



The word was "celestial."

Now, I totally get that a fifth grader might not know what this word means right off, or how to pronounce it. But their rationalization that it was hard because it was Greek, although a good guess given the context, was a little off.

(It comes from Latin.)

(Yes, I am a nerd.)

Communicating

Virginia is getting better at communicating her wishes. She says a few things like "hi," "nanana" (banana), "ball," "mama," "dada," and "nama" (for food).

She is also good at gestures. She waves, blows kisses, and plays peek-a-boo. Yesterday I put a hat on my head and when I took it off she patted her own head, urging me to put it back on. When I did, she smiled.

The most astonishing gesture, however, is something else. She will tap her chest twice and then point up. I have been interpreting this as a desire to be picked up. That is what it looks like and she seems to do it when it would make sense for her to want to be picked up, like when she is done eating. I thought this was baby sign language (which I don't know) and I thought perhaps she had learned it at day care.

I found out today that they do not teach baby sign language at her day care and they did not teach her that "sign." She made it up herself.

Is it just me or is Virginia frighteningly brilliant?

Go Ahead, Make My Day

As Virginia and I were coming up the stairs from the underground parking the other day she was making noises and I was making noises back at her. Then I heard someone else coming down the stairs and I thought, "Oh great! This person is going to think I am weird."

Well, of course, once Virginia realized there was someone coming down the stairs she turned toward the woman and flashed her a big grin, showing off all of her four teeth. The woman smiled back, pinched Virginia's cheek and said, "You just made my day!"

I am so lucky to live with a day-maker like Virginia every day!

Peep this cuteness from last weekend:

Freedom of Speech Fail

I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
- Voltaire

In case you were wondering what I think about this. (The first, and probably last, time you will see a link to Fox News on my blog.)

If this book offends you: don't read it. It really is as simple as that.

You have no right, however, to dictate what other people can and can not read.

I'm sure some people might wonder how, as a mother, I can defend this book. As a mother I want my daughter to grow up in a country that honors the free flow of information. I want her to be able to say whatever she wants to say and read whatever she wants to read. As a mother I plan to teach her how to be a responsible consumer of information. I plan to teach her how to look at all sides of an issue so she can determine for herself what is right and what is wrong. You see, the way to fight bad information isn't to make it disappear (you can never make it really disappear) it is to offer lots and lots of good information. She may read things from time to time that make me uncomfortable, but I will take comfort in knowing that there are other books out there that can counter any argument.

As far as I am aware, Amazon has given in and removed this book. And I want you to know that the people we have really hurt are ourselves. Enough is Enough thinks that this book will make people think child abuse is normal. What this book makes us all realize is that there are already people who think child abuse is normal. Isn't that something you want to know? Isn't that something you never want to forget? Facing these facts can make those of us who are disgusted by child abusers better able to combat child abuse. By sweeping this book under the rug we run the risk of becoming complacent, of thinking we won because we silenced one voice. We don't need to shut anyone up. We need to talk louder and talk smarter (not hard to do, did you check out this guy's spelling?) in this case, and in every other case, we dare to think isn't really about free speech.

Are You My Trough Helper?

In the lunchroom the majority of teachers and students get their food items plate by plate, possibly in multiple trips. This is because our school no longer uses trays in an effort to be more "green." (I guess the idea is that if you don't use the trays you don't have to wash them.)

However, the balancing act is too much for the Kindergarteners so they do use trays. The Kindergarteners also need help separating their trays, paper trash, silverware, and plates at the "trough." There is always a teacher on trough duty when the Kindergarten is getting done with lunch.

I am assigned trough duty on one day of the seven day rotation beginning in January, so I have not had the pleasure of this experience yet.

I say all this to explain what happened earlier this week when I went to eat lunch at a slightly earlier time than I normally do.

I finished eating at the same time as the Kindergarten students. As I put my dirty plate on the conveyor belt I was surrounded by zombie children wielding trays. "Where do I put my tray? I don't know what to do with my tray? What should I do with my tray?"

Somehow I was the only adult around and something was amiss with the set-up for the trays. Telling them, "I don't know, I'm new at this" wasn't really cutting it.

I looked one child in the eye, partially shaking him out of his zombification, "What do you normally do with the trays?" He pointed to a low wheelie cart (I think they are normally used to transport things like milk in food service) that was just inside the door to the dish washing room.

"You put them on this cart?" I asked. He nodded. The children crowded closer.

I stepped into the room and started wheeling the cart out. The zombies descended on me, setting their trays down.

"Let me out!" I cried, trying to wheel the cart out into the cafeteria. Inch by inch I got out the door, all the while collecting the trays of tiny zombies.

"Where does it go?" I asked, hoping someone, anyone, would answer.

One zombi looked up, shaken from his mission of depositing his tray on my cart for one moment. He pointed beside the conveyor belt and continued moving toward me. I slid the cart over to its place and darted from the cafeteria.

Amazing Things My Students Said

I saw two third grade classes yesterday and students said amazing things to me in both of them.

In the first class there is a boy who sometimes struggles with being on task and also struggled a little with the group work we are doing the first day we started. I talked to him and his group about everyone contributing in their own way and things got better. The last time they visited the library he did a lot of book-finding for their research. I noticed that he really knew how to find books using the call number (something that continues to be difficult for many students), and I complimented him. Yesterday he told me, "Ever since you told me I was good at finding books, I've gotten even better. I just helped four people find their books!" Then he wandered off to finally look for his own books.

Then, in the second class, one little girl told me that library is her favorite thing and she loves the research project we are doing right now, and she loves checking out books. Then she gave me a hug.

I'm a new teacher and sometimes I wonder if I'm doing all the right things with my students. Yesterday, I knew I had done something right.

More Songs for Virginia

Virginia Doodle

Miss Virginia went to town,

Riding on a Socrates,

Put a feather in her hat,

And called it macaroni and cheese.

Miss Virginia keep it up,

Miss Virginia baby.

Mind the manners and the step,

And always be a lady!

(n.b. One of our cats is named Socrates.)

London Baby

London baby falling down,

Falling down,

Falling down.

London baby falling down,

My fair Virginia!

Virginia, Hey Girl

(A very special song created by two of the ladies who watch Virginia at day care.)

Virginia, hey girl!
Virginia, hey girl!

(When one of the ladies starts singing this song, Virginia looks at the other one to see if she is going to join in.)

Snail Hat!

For reasons unknown I suddenly decided to crochet Virginia a hat. This was a ridiculous idea because her head is growing and she probably won't be able to wear the hat again next year. Also, I hadn't crocheted in a while (years?). Also, even when I used to crochet I only did rows, no circles.

And yet, I felt the need to do this thing.

Like a good librarian I checked out a book (with pictures) from the our school library. It's a kid's crochet book, so it's easy to follow. It has a whole section on circular crochet including how to make circular pillows and hats.

After many failed starting attempts I finally got the hat underway (circular crochet requires counting stitches - not one of my strong points). I decided to crochet ear flaps and ties since Virginia is pretty good at taking hats off.

Then I decided the hat needed decoration. I used a snail pattern from the pillow section, and put the snail on the hat!

Then I added tassels.

Behold!

This Weekend Smells Scary

Smell 1:

Something in our apartment stinks. One of the cats has not adjusted to the move well and has peed on the carpet on occasion. Usually it is not that noticeable, but when I walked in the front door the other day the smell was overwhelming. I have been treating the carpet heavily, looking for undiscovered stains with a black light, and pondering ways to prevent the cat from peeing on the carpet while enticing her to pee in a litter box. Nevertheless, there is still a smell. I am forced to consider other possible sources of the smell, like, could a food item have rolled under a cabinet somewhere and rotted? Could there be a dead animal in the walls? Or has the cat really suddenly developed stinkier pee?

Smell 2:

Virginia has been having some ass-plosions. Yesterday we returned home from an outing and I was convinced I had stepped in dog poo. Not only was the smell actually coming from my darling, innocent-looking baby, but the offending poop was leaking out the back of her diaper. She had several more poops of this stench (with differing levels of containment failure) throughout the day and totalled about four outfits. I have heard teething can cause diarrhea (though I'm not sure why that should be the case) and she is definitely teething. Other possible causes of her intestinal problems include the large number of yogurt puffs John and I have let her eat recently, or another stomach virus (please no). I will say she seems to have no other ailments and is generally happy whether she stinks or not.

In more fragrant news, John has new Old Spice body wash, so he smells like a monster.

Found It!

A student came to me today with one of those requests that seemed impossible. He wanted a specific book. It has that thing in it from A Wrinkle in Time. Yeah, a tesseract. There are houses on the cover. No, it's not another Madeleine L'Engle book.

How many books can there be that have tesseracts in them? I looked on NoveList, which I've been encouraging the kids to do when they are wondering what to read next. If this student thought his book was like A Wrinkle in Time, maybe NoveList did, too.

And it worked. I typed in A Wrinkle in Time, looked at the "NoveList Also Recommends" section of the page. Before I could even say anything, he pointed at the screen and said, "That's it!" (When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead - I haven't read it so please don't hold me accountable if it is not actually like A Wrinkle in Time at all.)

Then we found it in the catalog and he had the desired book in hand.

I love it when a good librarian plus good technology results in a good library experience!

Mama Makes It Better

On Friday morning, Virginia had a doctor's appointment, so John stayed home with her while I went to work. John and Virginia walked down to the car to see me off.

As I was getting ready to pull out of the parking space I saw movement by the stairs. It was John and Virginia walking back over to me. I rolled down the window and heard Virginia crying. John said they had tripped on the stairs. I held Virginia and nursed her until she calmed down.

I called John later to see how they were doing. He said he was glad they had caught me because I didn't just make Virginia feel better, I made him feel better, too.

I've been complaining about nursing a little bit recently, but Friday was a day I was so glad to be nursing Virginia. I'm glad I could make everyone feel better.

This Results in a Boob-Eviction

Ever since Virginia got teeth people have been looking at me, knowingly, and asking, "Has she bitten you, yet?" And they don't mean on the finger, or knee, or nose (yes, she has bitten me in all those places) they mean on the boob.

Okay eyebrow waggling enjoyers of other people's pain: you'll be glad to know that the day has come. I tried to nurse Virginia to sleep, as always, and she apparently wasn't tired. So she bit me. Just like all the advice says to do, I took her off, told her "NO," and after a moment offered to let her nurse again.

She stared me right in the eye, made ominous and threatening movements with her jaw, then bit me AGAIN.

She is talking to her stuffed animals right now. Mama is wondering how she is going to get Jaws to go to sleep.

Baby Hands

You know how sometimes you see pictures of a baby holding his/her mother's breast gently between his/her little hands while nursing?

Virginia never does that. Here is what her hands do while she is nursing:

pinch me

scratch me

pull my hair

grab my collar bone

go limp as she falls asleep

Sometimes, though, she does smile at me with her mouth full, which reminds me that she is grateful, even if she doesn't always have the kindest way of showing it.

Songs For Virginia

Ten Virginias

One little, two little,

Three Virginias,

Four little, five little,

Six Virginias,

Seven little, eight little,

Nine Virginias

Ten Virginias would be too many

Babealicious

I'm babealicious all night long,

I'm just singin' my babealicious song.

Babealicious!

I'm baby-baby-baby babealicious!

Babywearing Week

It is International Babywearing Week, so I thought I'd chime in with my own contribution.

I posted a while ago about my stash, and that hasn't really changed. I thought this time I'd write more about what babywearing has done for me and Virginia.

When Virginia was just a few weeks old we had a really tough time with breastfeeding. Mostly this was because I didn't know what I was doing and she had reflux. I was trying to nurse from one breast per feeding to help with her gas and reflux issues, but I wasn't nursing her often enough (you need to nurse more often when you do one breast per feeding). She wasn't gaining much weight and my midwife recommended feeding her constantly; as often as she would accept nursing. This was a difficult time for me. I was always hungry, thirsty, and under a baby. If I hadn't been able to wear Virginia and nurse her at the same time I wouldn't have been able to take care of myself at all. In the end, Virginia did gain weight and I started to figure out how to feel confident about breastfeeding instead of thinking about it too much.

Babywearing has come to the rescue again since our move to an apartment. There were pros and cons of all the apartments we looked at and the underground parking at this apartment was sort of both a pro and a con. When I go shopping at Whole Foods on a rainy day I can make the whole trip without getting a drop of water on me (Whole Foods has a parking deck). However, the walk from the car to the apartment is longer than the walk from a regular lot might be and it involves stairs no matter what floor you live on. (Okay, there is an elevator, but I like to get a little exercise.) Virginia is way too heavy for me to carry her in her car seat that distance and too squirmy for me to carry her in my arms if I have anything else I'm trying to carry as well. Every day when I come home from work I pop Virginia into the Ergo, fill my shoulders with my purse, breast pump, and Virginia's day care bag, and climb the stairs. Sometimes I do a few chores with Virginia riding along before letting her loose on the floor. (She is mobile now. And fast.) I also enjoy this time, having her close to me where I can breath her in, after we have been apart all day.

Babywearing is a beautiful thing and it has helped me be a better mother.

Baby Bird

When I got Virginia home today I put her in her high chair with the cup of milk she hadn't finished at day care and I got myself a cup of applesauce. As soon as I opened the applesauce Virginia started making eating noises, smacking her lips loudly.

I haven't been feeding her things that require a spoon because I like for her to feed herself. But she clearly wanted my applesauce. I gave her a taste off my spoon. She sucked it down. Then I pulled a plastic baby spoon off the shelf, put some applesauce on it, and set it down on Virginia's tray. She picked it up and put the applesauce in her mouth. I asked for the spoon back. She handed it to me and looked at me expectantly as I resupplied her with applesauce. This time as I moved the spoon towards her she took it from me instead of opening her mouth for me to do it.

I guess I don't mind sharing my applesauce with Virginia if she is learning how to use a spoon!

Are You Taller Than a Fifth Grader?

I arrived in the lunch room at the same time as the entire fifth grade yesterday. One of the teaching assistants was controlling the flow of students to the circle serve. I spotted the plate I wanted, skipped up to the circle serve, snatched it up, and walked by the teaching assistant. As I passed him he put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Then he turned to look at me and said, "Oh. You're okay." He thought I was a fifth grader who had slipped by him.

Some Weekends Are Like That, Even in Australia

Friday night, Virginia hit her head while we were visiting the Grandparents. Virginia hits her head a lot these days because she is pulling to stand on anything she can get her hand on. Frequently she doesn't cry at all. If she does I comfort her and she gets back on the horse. Friday night she was pretty upset, but like always, I calmed her down and she went back to playing.

I stepped out of the room to talk to my mom on the phone and the next thing I knew, John was calling for me urgently. Virginia had just coated him in vomit. I took her and cleaned her off while John cleaned himself off. I was kind of concerned, but everyone insisted that they had been dancing with Virginia and she had gotten too jiggled up. So we decided to assume that was why she had puked and take her home.

Only, at home she started puking some more, and fearing she had a head injury we took her to the ER. Four hours and one CT scan later, they sent us home saying it didn't look like she was damaged.

Virginia threw up a couple more times on Saturday morning, but she stopped vomiting after I gave her a bath and later she developed diarrhea so we felt confident that she had a stomach bug.

This morning Virginia still wasn't interested in solid food, but was doing great. Then I got sick. Really, really sick. It seemed like the more time passed, the more life was being drained out of me. I couldn't keep anything in my stomach and was getting dehydrated and weak. By the time John found a doctor for me to go to I could barely walk to the car.

The nurses insisted on checking all types of vitals before giving me something that would make me feel better. It was especially hard to find my blood pressure. I think I had low blood flow to my extremities because fingertips, toes, and lips were tinged blue. I wanted to scream, "Just make it better!"

They finally gave me an injection in the behind (that really hurt and made my hip cramp) and after waiting a certain amount of time had me shoot a grape flavored antispasmodic. I promptly threw it back up. They gave me the injection in the other hip, waited, then had me shoot the purple goo again. And I promptly threw it up.

After that they sent me home. I was sorely disappointed because I was still so shaky I could barely walk. But, the drugs seemed to finally kick in and I've been slowly getting my strength back since we have been home.

The worst part of this: I can't breastfeed Virginia while I'm on these medications. She is old enough that I think she'll be okay without milk for a few days and plenty of solid food and water. But she doesn't understand what is going on and it breaks my heart.

Nevertheless, this is the only time I have been so sick that I was afraid of what was going to happen to me. So, I am very grateful that these medications exist.

And now I need to see if my sore hips will let me drift off to sleep.

Overheard

The past two days have been especially good for funny gems from my students.

Yesterday I had a third grade class I was teaching about folktales. We had already spent one lesson on folk tales and fairy tales. Yesterday we were focusing on tall tales. I read them the story "Pecos Bill," asked them what exaggerations they heard, and then let them play add-on telephone. We had played telephone at the beginning of the last class to demonstrate how folktales change with retelling (but hopefully retain some of their original message). I thought playing again would be a fun way to end class, and letting them purposely add to or change the message could let them experiment with exaggeration. The young man who went first informed us that his phrase had been "bunnies like pie." Twenty children later it turned into "fart pie on a bucking bronco."

Today I had two fifth grade classes and a fourth grade class. During book check-out time for the first fifth grade class several gentlemen were standing around a computer, performing various searches and talking to each other. A cheerleading book showed up on the screen and one young man said, "My sister's a cheerleader."

Another young man said, "Oh, your sister's a cheerleader?"

The first young man answered, "She's too old for you, son."

Book Book Book

Virginia said her first word this week! It was "book."

Very fitting, since I am a librarian and John is a lawyer. We think we may teach her to say "database" next.

But seriously, the fact that she has learned to say "book" isn't mystical at all. She plays with a book while having her diaper changed (thanks to the advice of Funky Mama Bird). Every time I change her diaper I hand her the book and say "book."

So now what has started happening is I hand her the book and she says "book!" She definitely knows the changing table book is a book, but she has commented on other books, too. So maybe she has understanding of the Aristotelian concept of book-ness.

Virginia also claps and occasionally holds her arms up over her head to indicate that she is "so big." It is very exciting to realize that she understands what we are saying to her and is able to respond.

Red Tastes Better

Virginia likes to eat red strawberries, red raspberries, and red peppers.

Yes, red peppers.

I have been trying to offer her more of the foods that John and I eat. She is a really good eater, and what is mostly holding her back is the fact that she doesn't have many teeth. (The two in the bottom front are currently at about half mast.)

Anyway, John and I had quesadillas the other night and I gave Virginia some of the chicken and peppers I used. The chicken had been cooked in the crock pot and then frozen, specifically for use in quesadillas, so it was shredded and tender.

Virginia liked the chicken, but when she saw a red pepper... Well, she pulled the chicken off the pepper strip by strip, dropping many pieces on the floor. The she delightedly put the pepper in her mouth. Why did the pepper have to be chicken free? I don't know.

But Virginia does like red foods. And apparently she likes them better when they aren't mixed up with anything else.

Twix Bear Cub

When John and I were on our spring road trip across England and Wales an incident happened which spawned the term "Twix Bear."

We had stopped at a rest stop and John had gotten a couple of candy bars. As he was getting into the car a Twix fell out of his hand and got lost under the car seat. He roared and pawed at the seat until he finally retrieved the Twix.

I sat in stunned silence and once he finally calmed down, all I could do was laugh. John looked at me and said "What?" I said, "You were like a bear. 'Rawr, I lost my Twix bar!!!'"

Then John started laughing, too. Since then, if John gets upset over something kind of silly, we say he has turned into the "Twix Bear."

Yesterday Virginia was trying to climb up John and got kind of frustrated (she isn't as mobile as she wants to be). John said he thinks its funny how she can get mad so easily about silly things. I said, "Oh, like the Twix Bear?"

Virginia must be a Twix Bear Cub.

Energy

My last class of the day was rather lively and I had to take away necklaces from two boys. The necklaces looked, to me, like bungee cords. The boys had removed them from their necks and were swatting things with them.

When the teacher came to pick up the class I simply handed the necklaces over. She said "You know these are titanium, right?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, they are supposed to give you energy."

I was shocked. I had to ask, "These kids need more energy?"

Then after thinking for a moment about how I'm having a hard time adjusting to waking up earlier I added, "Maybe I should get one."

That's when she told me, "They are expensive."

She asked one of the young men I had confiscated a necklace from how much his had been.

"$60."

How much should I be willing to pay to be able to keep up with my students?

Andre the Canadian?

As part of the first-day-of-library activities I have been having all my classes make name cards. That way I can learn their names and if I ever need to assign them seats I can do it easily. Since I saw the last of my classes today (we start the second rotation tomorrow) my speech about the name cards had gotten pretty long. I've been learning along the way.

Their names have to be big enough and dark enough for me to read them.

They have to write the name they go by in class.

They can draw pictures, but the pictures need to be school-appropriate.

The pictures should not obscure their name.

Anyway, one of my students asked me today if he could go by "Andre" (shortened from "Andrew"). I have no problem with shortened versions of their names. I was just telling them to write down what their teacher calls them to avoid things like "Scooby-Doo" and "Bat Man." I wasn't going to object, but he apparently felt he needed to explain further because he said, "It's okay for me to go by Andre because I'm half Canadian."

I love working with kids.

My People

There is a book on the summer reading list that all the fifth graders had to read. I found out right away that most of the students strongly disliked it, so I started encouraging discussion.

Now, I have not read this book. And once I realized it was going to be a discussion topic I should have at least read a good summary. But I didn't. I just kept asking the students to talk about their feelings on the book.

There have been one or two students in each class who do like it, though. And I try to get them to talk too, to get a different perspective. In one of the classes a young lady told me she liked the book because she liked reading about "her people."

This young lady has beautiful tan skin and curly black hair. Her race simply isn't obvious. I had to ask her, "What people are we talking about?"

As it turns out, we were talking about African Americans. It's a civil rights book.

Boy am I an idiot.

I have listened to another of K. L. Going's books on CD, for what it's worth.

Won't Be Worried Long

Way back when we were living in England I started my job search. I even wrote a song about it.

Then John and I moved home and I was still worried. More worried, even. I added some verses.

Well, as the song promised, I wasn't worried long. At least as far as the job search was concerned. I have recently started my new job as a private school librarian. The students came back to school this week and I taught my first classes.

As my job search went on and on I began to think I would have to settle for a job that wasn't an ideal fit. Instead I found a job that is better than I could have hoped. I am truly loving it!

Will I really stop worrying?

There is always something to worry about, and to quote my dear friend Jeff, "Telling me not to worry is like telling me not to breathe. Eventually I'll pass out and do it anyway."

Bring Me a Shrubbery!

When I was in high school Mom was driving Amanda to school one day and they saw a cat get hit by another car. Amanda was really upset so Mom promised to go back and check on the cat after dropping Amanda off. The cat had wondered off the side of the road, but had ultimately died. Mom decided to put it in the trunk of the car and take it home so Amanda could achieve some peace by giving the cat a burial.

Of course I ended up providing the muscle for the endeavor. You see, our back yard is full of red clay and tree roots. I took a pick ax and chopped up the dirt before trying to scoop it out of the hole with the shovel. To make matters worse, Jack (the name Amanda gave the dead cat) had gotten stiff, so we couldn't make him a more compact shape. We finally had to bury him in a standing position with his front legs on one side of a tree root and his back legs on the other side.

I conducted another burial in the yard this weekend. We are still in the process of moving everything out of Mom's house. Even now we don't have everything out, but Mom told me she wanted to unplug the big chest freezer in the garage. The placenta from Virginia's home birth was in that freezer, so I took this as motivation to finally do something with it.

Back when I was planning the home birth I asked the midwives what would happen with the placenta. They said some people like to encapsulate. Other people bury it. When I kept looking at them like I was hoping for another answer they said it was possible to donate the placenta to people who train cadaver sniffing dogs. This third option was my personal plan, however, months after the placenta was already in the freezer I looked up how to make a donation to the cadaver dogs and discovered that I should have stored it differently and donated it more promptly.

On to plan B. I was never interested in encapsulation (and even if I was, that also would have had to happen soon after birth). I'm not as grossed out by it as I was initially, but still - not for me. So that left burial.

I was hoping that being older and wiser I would have less difficulty digging this hole than I did digging Jack's. I did pick a location that had fewer roots but I still had to battle red clay. It was a hot and challenging morning.

Rather than burying the placenta unceremoniously in the yard, I decided to plant an azalea on top of it. After all, life comes from life, and although the buried placenta will surely feed any number of plants and animals before it fully decomposes, it will be kind of neat to look at one of those plants and know that it is being fed by the same organ that fed Virginia for nine months.

Ants

I started work on Thursday. It was the first of three new faculty orientation days. Then there will be the teacher work days and school doesn't start for the students for over another week.

Anyway, on Thursday there were some ants in the library. I won't go into great detail because the school is very nice and I don't want to give the impression that there were ants because it is dirty or anything like that. These things just happen sometimes, especially when it is really hot outside and ants can't find water.

My fellow librarian put out some bait for the ants and when I returned to work yesterday they were gone (whew!). I spent the morning meeting other faculty and learning how to use the library cataloging and circulation software. In the afternoon I was in the office working on my own when the exterminator came.

We had put in a work order for someone to take care of the ants. I went out to talk to him. Told him where the ants had been and that our solution seemed to have worked. He sprayed a little bit for good measure, then wanted me to write the school address on the invoice and sign it.

I am not good at recalling things like addresses unless I make a point of remembering them. (I'm still shaky on our new home address.) I didn't know the school address. It wasn't written on anything that was lying around the circulation desk. He saw me looking around and said, "I'm stressin' you out, baby! I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's okay." I said. "I'm new, I just need to look up the address."

"You don't have any kids, do you?" He asked.

"Actually," I said, "I have an eight month old little girl"

"Oh, you a new mom. No wonder you stressed. You get away from the baby and someone come to work and stress you out."

"You're not stressing me out." I said. "I'm fine."

Then he asked. "You got some water around here?"

I looked around and frowned. "Umm."

"I'm stressin' you out again, baby. I'll go look in the office."

Here I am starting a new job, trying to exude confidence. I can teach classes. I can order books. I am awesome.

But the exterminator saw right through me.

Feet

Even before Virginia was born she had very busy feet. They would poke out of the left side of my abdomen as she stretched and exercised.

As a newborn Virginia kicked anything her feet came into contact with, me, the chair I was nursing her in, the wall, etc. As an almost 8-month-old, she still does this. It just makes life a little more interesting since she is now a lot longer. (How do I hold her in the rocking chair so I can nurse her to sleep without her feet touching anything?)

And now her feet have boldly gone where neither of her feet had gone before: into her mouth. (This moment is brought to you by gDiapers which seem to restrict her leg movements less than her usual cloth diapers.)

So far future job prospects are soccer player or contortionist.

Not Too Busy to Hambone

Life is still pretty crazy here in the new abode. Boxes piled high. A leaking air conditioner (now fixed). A new daycare availability (they may allow the cloth diapers!). Last minute details about my start of school schedule.

But let's not talk about that.

Recently, when Amanda was hanging out with me and Virginia, she asked if I knew all the words to "Hush Little Baby." I told her that I didn't, but I knew that they were in Pete Seeger's autobiography*, which I own and adore. So we looked up the song. He includes it in his autobiography because it is (apparently) a good song to hambone to. He also has some instructions on how to hambone.

I was intrigued.

Here is a beginner's hambone duet:

And then, because she has been boycotting naps, Virginia laid her head on my arm and drifted off to sleep.

Sweet dreams hambone baby!

*Like a true librarian, I don't know everything, just where to find it.

Caught Being Happy

The move is still underway, but of course we have other things going on as well.

On Monday we had to take the new car in for maintenance. While it was in the shop John, Virginia, and I walked to the mall.

I was pushing Virginia in the stroller and walking a little behind John. He cut over in front of me and I almost ran into him. I joked that he should use turn signals. John did a bike signal for "right" and turned right. Then he signaled for "left" and turned left. Then I almost ran into him when he did the "stop" signal and stopped. Fortunately I stopped at the last second.

A woman passed us in the mall and saw us goofing around and giggling. She commented, "You look like a happy couple." Normally I find being noticed to be a little embarrassing, but I realized that because she noticed us, I noticed us, too. In the midst of our moving stress, we are happy, and having a great time!

Thoughts on Moving Mid-Move

John and I packed up (most) of our stuff at my mom's house yesterday and then drove the U-Haul to his parents' house where other stuff has been stored since before we moved to England.

Some observations:

• Folding up the swing Virginia has outgrown I had one of those moments of "Oh, I remember those days. She used to be so tiny!"
• Nursing is good for making you take breaks. Also it was nice to reconnect with Virginia every few hours, since she spent most of her time with Grandmommy, who came over to help out.
• Lifting heavy boxes all day will make the baby feel lighter.
• The cats were pretty traumatized that we locked them in a room while the door to the outside was open and then took away the cat tree and futon.

I am so excited to be moving into a place that is ours.

Diapers and Daycare

When I toured Virginia's day care I asked about whether they would be willing to use cloth diapers. Not only do they only do disposables (which I will have to purchase) but they said it is required for their accreditation.

I thought I should look into these accreditation standards so I would know exactly what my diapering options were, and since the standards were pretty deeply buried in the jumble of information known as the "Internet." I thought I'd share what I found in case anyone out there also needs to find these standards for diaper information or anything else.

Virginia's day care is accredited by NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children). The first thing I found on their website that looked promising was an "overview" of their standards. It downloaded to my computer as a pdf. It is a list of ten points that spans three pages and is so general as to say almost nothing at all.

Searching further, I found another pdf, this one for TORCH (The Online Resource Center Headquarters). At first glance I didn't think this pdf would help me either since the standards aren't on it. Then I looked a little closer and discovered that the standards are in the TORCH database. The pdf tells you how to set up a free account so you can search the database (ID: naeyc, Password: naeyc).

After doing all that I finally found the standard regarding diapers. It does state that centers with NAEYC accreditation must use only disposable diapers. BUT if a child needs to wear cloth diapers for a medical reason the day care should cloth diaper that child. Although I was disappointed to learn that I will, in fact, have to purchase disposable diapers for Virginia to wear at day care, now I know I do have a recourse if she gets a terrible diaper rash from the disposable diapers. I will get her the most baby-friendly and earth-friendly diapers I can find. And I hope she doesn't get a bad rash. But if she does, you had better believe we will walk in with a doctor's note explaining that her discerning bottom requires cloth.

Dr's Visit

Sweet Virginia had her 6 month check up today (even though she is 7 months old).

I was really happy that she has not only grown, but jumped in percentiles. At her last visit she was 5th percentile for weight and now she is 25th. She was 25th percentile for length and now she is 50th. (Is it really possible a child of mine is normal in some way?)

She is hitting all her developmental milestones like sitting with assistance and standing while holding on.

I really liked the nurse who was there today. She offered to let Virginia breastfeed while she got her vaccines. Virginia was too busy looking at what was going on to notice my offer of "Momma nommas" until after the final shot, which apparently had a kick to it. But I helped her calm down and we both left the office smiling!

Virginia has just gotten over her reflux in the past couple months and I think that has helped tremendously with her growth and her willingness to be on her tummy. The reflux caused me a lot of stress, not only because I was frequently soaked with sour milk but because I felt like I should be growing her more and getting her on her tummy more. This is one trial of babyhood we have survived. It's nice to have evidence that I am doing the right things for her and she is catching up now that the reflux is done.

Baby Banana-Grabber

Virginia has learned how to get food out of her fist and into her mouth! Last night I gave her back all the banana bits she had crunched up and she ate most of them. She was still eating after John and I finished. She is so amazing!

Of course her new skills mean nothing that could fit in her mouth is safe. She tried to eat a crumb off the floor this morning. (I intervened.) I guess we'll have to be better about vacuuming.

PT

Virginia has been going to physical therapy for several months now for a condition called torticollis. The muscles on the right side of her neck are tight and pull her head towards that side. She did not suffer any birth trauma (she was born at home) so it was probably caused by her position in the womb. Sometimes I really hate to think that all that time I was nurturing and growing her I was squishing her little neck, too.

Fortunately she isn't as bad off as many children with torticollis. She has a pretty good range of motion with more resistance than actual inability to turn. The skin of her neck has never gotten dry or cracked and her head is not misshapen.

About a month ago Virginia was doing really great. She was needing fewer appointments and was hardly tight at all. Most of what little head tilt she had left was from habit.

But in her last two appointments her therapist has said she is worse. Very tight. This is probably due to a growth spurt and, more recently, her increased mobility. She is constantly using one side more than the other, building muscle unevenly.

I hate this so much. It was really hard when her pediatrician first mentioned she might have torticollis, because even though there are worse things, I felt like my perfect baby was broken. Then, when she was improving I felt like, at least I was fixing it. (I have to help her stretch and exercise between appointments.) But now I feel like a failure. I feel like my baby is broken all over again and it's my fault.

They did kind of warn me this could happen. They said they like to see babies throughout the first year because they tend to regress every time they develop a new skill. I just want this to be over. I want her to be fixed.

And now that I'm thinking again about how this happened before she was even born I've started worrying about her future sibling(s?). Maybe I'm broken. Maybe there isn't enough room in there. If I didn't have Ina May in the back of my head whispering, "Your body is not a lemon" I'd probably be convinced of my flaws instead of merely insecure.

Shelfari

As I think I've mentioned before, I have read to Virginia since she was born. Recently we have changed our night time routine so that I read while nursing her to sleep instead of watching TV. This actually goes faster because I'm paying closer attention to how awake she is and often there is time for me and John to watch TV together after Virginia is asleep. I want night time reading to be part of our routine for years to come and making the change now will make it very easy to continue this practice.

Of course this has worked out well for me because I am simply getting more reading done! I am currently working my way through the 2010-2011 Georgia Children's Book Award nominees. (My students need to read or listen to a certain number of the nominees to participate in voting.) Since these are children's books they are great to share with Virginia and it is good read-aloud practice for me.

I have fond memories of so many of the books my mother read to me and my sister and I want Virginia to have a list of books she has enjoyed. So, I have started a Shelfari for her (there is also a link under "life in the cloud.") I promise that some day I'll let her have a little more say in what we read. ;)

It's What's For Dinner

John and I made stir fry pretty frequently when we were living in England. Stir frying is fast and easy and even healthy. It also helped that John liked stir frying so it was a good way for me to get him to cook.

We had ingredients in the house for stir frying last night so I asked John if he would help me make dinner. Sometimes it really is helpful to have two people working together since you want to move quickly once the oil is hot. Of course, both of us in the kitchen means someone else has to be in the kitchen, too. I got Virginia situated on my back in the mei tai and we were in business. It was nice cooking with John. And I couldn't see Virginia very well, but John said she was quite pleased to be riding high.

And while we were enjoying our yummy food Virginia got some banana. But not banana in a baby feeder. I am really working with her on truly experiencing her food, feeding herself, learning to chew and swallow (not suck down food like she does milk). I sliced the banana long ways for her so she could hold the pieces easily. An entire banana got used up. Most of it ended up in mashed bits in her high chair. But some ended up in her mouth where it got gummed and swallowed. I so love watching her learn. Maybe in the next couple of months she can start eating bits of the same stuff we are having!

I don't wanna write a love song for the world...

When John is hanging out with Virginia they usually do one of two things:

1. Go shopping at Frys where Virginia has been known to pick out anime series for John and I to watch together.
2. Dance to music playing from John's computer.

Virginia' s new favorite song is Say Hey (I Love You). I've seen the two of them dance to it several times. John holds Virginia facing out and she gets a big grin on her face while they bounce around.

Yesterday, when I was putting Virginia back in her car seat after church, a live version of her song came on the radio. She had been squirming and flailing, making it pretty hard to buckle her in. But as soon as the song came on she relaxed, smiled, and started bobbing her head.

Virginia may be saying "mamama" a little more these days, but she loves her daddy so much!

My Little Bunny

"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his mother, "I will be a tree that you come home to." - The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown

Now that Virginia is not having such a problem with reflux we have been able to do more baby-wearing that is comfortable for both of us. Some positions used to put too much pressure on her tummy and I was still new and learning how to attach her to me without dropping her on her head, so there were some challenges. But now she is a bird and I am the tree she comes home to.

Here is a little bit about our collection of baby-wearing devices.

Moby Wrap:

I used this one the most when Virginia was first born. She never seemed to like being cocooned all in one section of fabric, so I had her sitting in there with her feet out pretty early on (she kicks anything her feet come into contact with). I got her to nap in the Moby for a while and nursed her in the Moby when she wanted to nurse non-stop for a couple of weeks. The Moby helped me gain my first bit of confidence to take Virginia out in public - to the library, to LLL meetings, to SOS meetings, etc.

As Virginia got bigger and squirmier, the versatility of the Moby allowed me to try some different positions, like a hip cary and facing out. Virginia loves facing out and especially loves having her little hands and feet in everything I am doing.

Ergo Baby:

I got the Ergo at a baby shower. I ended up not using it until Virginia was big enough to sit in it without an insert. However, once she could ride in the Ergo it became a great thing to have.

I use it mostly when I am out of the house and will be wearing Virginia for a long time. It is very easy to nurse her in it since I can adjust the straps without taking her out. She sleeps in it really well, too, with the help of the hood that keeps her head from lolling all over the place. I used the Ergo when John and I took her to the Renaissance Festival and she was quite content. She fell asleep on my back just this weekend while I was playing bocce.

Baby Bjorn:

When John wanted to start wearing Virginia we got him his own carrier. He likes how easy it is to get Virginia in and out of the Bjorn and that she can face out (baby can't face out in the Ergo). This is not to mention that when she is riding with John and wearing her sun hat she is heart-breakingly cute.

Peanut Shell:

When I was still using the Moby all the time I went to Babies R Us to look for something I could use when the Moby was in the wash. Virginia usually spit up on the Moby every time she was in it so I had to wash it sometimes. I came home with the Peanut Shell. Virginia didn't seem to like it, so it sat on the bed in my office where Socrates sat on it and covered it with cat fur.

I thought about selling it and washed it and ended up giving it another try. Right now the Peanut Shell is what we use around the house the most - for quick trips downstairs or out to the mail box. Virginia likes riding on my hip and the PS is great for holding her right there for me. We even used it in the grocery store a couple of times, although it is not as friendly on my back as carriers that go over both shoulders.

Mei Tai:

Once Virginia wanted to be carried facing out all the time I decided to get a mei tai. I found one on ebay and it has worked out great. She faces out in the mei tai when I am wearing her around the house for a longer amount of time. We have also started experimenting with back carrying (I do it sitting in the middle of the bed). This is great if I am cooking or cutting John's hair.

Water Sling:

I also got a water ring sling on ebay. It is made of mesh and doesn't retain water. We have used it for wading in the pool and even tried it in the shower.

I never thought I'd end up with so many baby carriers, but each has its purpose. I've been very glad to have so many ways to keep Virginia close to me and to involve her in my daily activities.

Croeso i Gymru

In college I took half a semester of Medieval Welsh. Half a semester because I had to drop it to avoid failing. I try to be a good student, but this class was really legitimately too difficult for me. It was cross posted as an English class and a Linguistics class and I think by midpoint there were only Linguistics students left. We were translating a Welsh folktale by using a dictionary and grammar guide to parse every word with intermittent grammar and vocabulary lessons. It. Was. Hard.

Despite the fact that I was not able to pass or complete the class I really did learn some things. One thing I learned was that Welsh has this cool letter that we don't have. LL. (Linguistic geek out.) My professor said that it is pronounced by blowing air out of the sides of your tongue.

Virginia is in a stage with her language development in which she tries out consonant sounds. (Babies begin with vowels and move to consonants.) She experiments with Mmmm, Dddd, Tttt, Gggg, Shhhh, Bbbb, and a little Wwww. Recently she has also been using LL (accompanied by bubbles of spit). Perhaps she thinks she is Welsh.

Of course, Virginia spent several days in Wales in utero. John and I found out we were pregnant the day we left on our spring road trip across the UK (scroll down to early April).

Maybe one day I will read her Cyfranc Lludd a Llefelys in English. She can read it to me in Welsh.

Baby Babble

Virginia and I had a kind of rough night (teething?) but fortunately she knows how to make me smile. :)

Sometimes when she is making a lot of baby noises and I am holding her I will wiggle my finger in her lips to make her sound extra funny.

She has recently started doing this herself. She moves her hand around on her mouth while "talking."

Very cute.

Sock Monkey Triptych

At my baby shower last fall Papa Mike gave Baby Nelson a sock monkey.

My great grandmother (known to me as "Great Granny") used to make sock monkeys. At Christmas time Mike gave my grandmother (Great Granny's daughter) a sock monkey also. Grandma Mary took the sock monkey home and set him in a chair. Her cat Charlie decided that the sock monkey, dubbed "Henry," was his new best friend.

After learning what became of Grandma Mary's sock monkey I decided that Virginia's sock monkey should be Henry's girlfriend, and her name would be "Henrietta." Henrietta is a good friend to Virginia. She entertains Virginia during tummy time and shows her how to do the moves to "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" and "If You're Happy and You Know It."

A little after Christmas, Sugar said there was a present she and Papa Mike had forgotten to give Virginia. We opened it to discover a sock monkey in a box! I think the video makes it clear how Virginia feels about this friend:

Finally, I read a blog entry with some advice about safe co-sleeping (I wish I could link to it, but it's not a blog I read regularly and I can't remember how I got there) and got a great pajama tip. The blogger recommended wearing a long sleeved shirt that buttons down for easy side lying nursing that keeps your arms warm. On the occasions that I was bringing Virginia into bed my arms were getting cold outside the covers, so I thought this was a great idea. I went to Target to look for some long sleeved pajamas. As you might imagine, since it is summer, the selection was pretty slim. But then I found these:

That's right, sock monkey pajamas! Virginia's relationship with sock monkeys continues...

Diaper Time

Hey mommies who read this: help!

Diaper changing time is turning into an ordeal and it happens way too often for me to dread doing it.

The problem is that Virginia scratches the minute her diaper is off. This is a problem for multiple reasons.

• I don't want to give her a complex about her privates (I pull her hand away and say "no") and maybe wouldn't be bothered except that...
• She scratches. She is actually breaking skin.
• When she has open wounds I can't put diaper cream everywhere since the bottle explicitly says, do not put on open wounds.
• If I do manage to get diaper cream on any unwounded itchy parts I don't want her hands in it since it's kind of hard to wash her hands and her hands go in her mouth.

Solutions I have already tried that haven't worked:

• Cutting her finger nails. I file them down as far as possible every week. They still do damage.
• Giving her a toy to play with during changing time. Scratching is more interesting to her.
• Preventing diaper rash (presumably this is why she is scratching, right?). I put diaper cream on when I can. I soak the diapers in vinegar and wash them on hot. I stopped drinking limeaid every day. I even bought reusable wipes and made my own solution (water and glycerin), which really seems to help. But you know what, she scratches even when her skin looks perfectly clear.

Short of putting a baby straight jacket on her every time I change her diaper I'm not sure what to do!

Education

I am about halfway done with my current educational endeavor. If all goes as planned I should graduate next spring with a Specialist degree in Education for School Library Media. (Translation: I will be certified to be a media specialist in Georgia and will have slightly more education than is strictly required.)

As I have continued my education it has gotten progressively more practical. I studied Latin and English as an undergraduate -- fun! but not so much subjects that prepare you for the working world. Then I got a Masters in Library Information Studies. I did this with the aim of learning a profession and getting a job. Similarly, this Specialist degree is about the jobs I can get with it.

However, I have learned that practical degrees can still be fun. I enjoyed library school immensely and still think fondly of my Print Culture class especially. (I am fascinated by the differences between orality, literacy, print culture, 2.0 culture, etc.) And now I have started the Applied Project I have to complete for my Specialist degree. This was described by one of my professors as more than a Master's thesis but less than a Doctoral dissertation.

I am thinking about collecting jokes from my students in order to learn more about them. The first assignment I have had to complete on my Applied Project journey was an annotated bibliography. I did let it get a little down to the wire and had to put some serious last minute hours into my bibliography but -- it was fun! Have you ever read scholarly articles on jokes? Maybe not everyone's idea of a good time, but I think they are great.

I am really enjoying being in school right now and I am enjoying this project especially. It is still in the early stages, but hopefully it will continue to be a pleasant learning experience.

Thinking about jokes, I remembered that I had written up a joke experience from when I was working in Athens. I dug it out, dusted it off, and posted it here.

Nap Time

So I admit it, I'm not good at nap time.

When Virginia was a newborn she slept a lot. When she was tired she fell asleep pretty easily, sometimes with a little help from nursing. Somehow she got bigger and started sleeping less and started having more trouble falling asleep.

Recently she has started shrieking when she is unhappy but not quite crying-stage unhappy. It is a truly awful sound that turns my stomach inside out and requires all my mothering skills to endure. This prehistoric sound emerges when I've nursed her, I've changed her, I've played with her and she still seems to need something else. She is rubbing her eyes and looking at me like, "why can't you fix it?"

I can't fix it because she is so distractible. Unless she is really drowsy, like she is at night time, I can't seem to nurse her to sleep or rock her to sleep. She keeps looking around at what else is going on.

She devolved into sleepy dinosaur baby pretty quickly this morning and I thought I should probably try to get her to take a real nap to save my sanity. I put her on the bed in my office and lay down next to her. I turned out the lights and closed the blinds. I put her music on the lap top and turned on the fan (a possible distraction, but it is monotonous and possibly drowsy-making). It took about half an hour and more screeching (no crying), but finally she fell asleep.

And she's been asleep for almost an hour.

I could say, "I will do it this way from now on." But giving myself these types of rules can be crazy-making. Instead I will view this as another strategy I can employ. We'll take it day by day and do whatever works at the time.

Black Hole

My freshman year of college I kept note of all the funny things my professors said.

The Latin professor reminded us that we would address a group of animals (in vocative case) by saying "O animalia."

The marine science guy had the most quotations. One memorable one was, while talking about mistaking a dolphin for a shark, "Have you ever seen a fin coming toward you and been ready to kiss your life goodbye?"

*Stunned silence.*

Quieter: "Happens to me all the time."

But the quotation that has stuck with me the most was from my astronomy professor. He was explaining about black holes and time. If you tied up your friend in a chair so he couldn't move, he would be stationary in space, but he would continue to move through time. If you threw your friend into a black hole, he would be stationary time, but not in space. He would get sucked into the black hole, but you would see him hovering on the edge (according to my professor).

Anyway, as he was using this example he said, "Say you throw your friend into a black hole- that is, of course, assuming you have a friend."

I have so many thoughts on this, but mainly, if you want to have friends you shouldn't be throwing them into black holes.

Virginia has a small stuffed panda bear with teeth-able feet that rides with her in her car seat. She has taken to tossing the panda out of her car seat and then complaining that he is gone. I calmly explained to her recently that when she throws her friend into a black hole, she doesn't have a friend anymore.

Reading

I read to Virginia every day. I started reading to her in the early days after she was born while she was nursing. I read novels aloud to her like The Christmas Carol (Virginia was born on December 6) and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Since then I've started reading her children's novels from the library that I want to review and we no longer read every time she nurses since I've learned this is a prime time for computer work.

However, I do make time to read her picture books while we sit together on the floor. Sometime she sits in my lap. Sometimes I prop her up in front of me so she can see my face. (As a trained children's librarian I am awesome at reading upside down.) She likes to help turn pages and taste the books. When we read a board book I give it to her afterwards to properly gum.

I've started opening the board books and setting them on the floor for her to roll over to and do with as she will. This morning she rolled over to The Runaway Bunny (a gift from another children's librarian, Ms. Jackie), held it open in front of her, and babbled.

I'm so proud!

Moar Giggles

An upshot of Virginia being tired is that she gets punchy and laughs easily.

Oh, and she is "slimy" because she is drooling. You never know what words are going to be funny to her.

Crazy Limbs

Two nights ago Virginia woke up crying, so I un-swaddled her and put her in bed with me. She nursed for an hour, neither falling asleep nor showing any sign of stopping. This hour was totally unrestful for me because I spent it trying to prevent Virginia from grabbing my collar bone (it doesn't hurt, but it weirds me out). Finally I got up and turned off the ceiling fan, thinking it was making her too cold.

Immediately Virginia was happier. She stopped nursing and stopped grasping at me. But then she lay there on her back moving her arms and legs around and cooing. Cute, but impossible to sleep through. I re-swaddled her and she calmed down and went back to sleep (still in bed with me).

Needless to say, we were both kind of tired and cranky yesterday, but I had high hopes that after a good night of sleep we would be on track to a better tomorrow.

Then the crazy limbs struck again.

Virginia woke up minutes after I put her in the crib last night. I couldn't face a whole night with her in the bed, so I picked her up and held her until she went back to sleep, then put her in the crib. Once again, minutes after I put her down, she woke up. John was still awake so I asked him to hold her and give me a chance to get a little sleep.

He managed to put her back to sleep and even sneak her into the crib. I'm not sure how long she slept there, but she woke me up around 3am. I un-swaddled her (digression: Virginia sleeps better on her own of she is swaddled, so that is how she always goes to bed. If she is in bed with me she usually sleeps fine either way. I feel a little better having her arms free in the bed in case she needs them so I usually take her out of the swaddle.) and put her in bed with me. Even before she started nursing her hands were scratching me and her pointy little toes were jabbing into my stomach. Not exactly the restful night I had hoped for. I re-swaddled her, let her nurse for a seemingly endless amount of time, and finally we both went back to sleep.

In six short months she has already changed so much. She has rapidly gone through many difficult and charming phases. This is just a phase. It will be over soon. Then something else will happen, but I'll deal with that then.

Listen Up

I have this extra bit of cartilage in my right ear. It is in the curved section near the top and makes a small line perpendicular to the edge of my ear. I have had it for as long as I can remember and kind of thought it might have resulted from an injury or other post-birth catalyst.

Nope.

Virginia has the same bit of cartilage in her right ear. It's genetic.

And just in case I needed more proof, Amanda noticed that our cousin Kieran has the same ear cartilage thing going on!

How far back in our ancestry does this go? We'll probably never know. But this weird trait has already secured its place with the next generation.

Day Care

In the wake of my job-having delight I am having to face the reality of putting Virginia in day care. Today I got the good news that she does have a place to go. Good in that, that problem is solved. But as in so many areas of life I wish I could have it both ways (work and watch Virginia myself).

These are the things I tell myself to make myself believe I am not a bad person for letting her go to day care. Maybe they aren't true, but maybe they are.

• I grew up believing I could be anything I wanted to be. I hope that by pursuing my career I am setting an example for Virginia that she too can be anything.
• They say "it takes a village to raise a child." Well, maybe the day care teachers can be part of our village.
• As inconvenient as it may be to pump, I am committed to breastfeeding Virginia for as long as she needs me to. In addition to helping her (and us) survive the day care germs, it will help us reconnect at the end of the day.
• This isn't really full-time day care. I will have summers free.
• They might actually give her more attention than I do.
• They don't just watch the kids they teach them.
• Virginia will get to socialize with other children.

I am learning that every once in a while you make a decision as a parent that you just have to hope isn't scarring your child for life.

So here's hoping.

Bath Time

I bathe Virginia roughly once a week. (My estimation of the timing is rough, not the way I handle the baby.) Since she doesn't quite sit up by herself I do this by getting in the tub with her, and this is very much the reason I don't bathe her more frequently. It is fun to splash in the water together, but time consuming.

One of the most frustrating things about bath time is that Virginia doesn't stay clean very long. She usually spits up all over herself before I even towel her off and does a tremendous poopy in her first post-bath diaper.

Today's bath time was extra special. I stripped her down, wrapped her in a baby towel, laid her on another towel on the bathroom floor and began preparing the bath. I looked down and saw that both the towels Virginia was laying on were wet. Fair enough. I hadn't cleaned her yet.

With her still on the floor (not in the tub) I hurried to her room to get the other baby towel (I have exactly two) so I would have something clean to wrap her in after the bath.

Splashy, splashy, washing the baby times.

Then after the bath I laid her on her clean baby towel. No extra towel for padding this time since she had peed on it already. As I was getting my clothes on before picking her up, my little bundle of towel-wrapped baby rolled over revealing her very wet toweled behind. Bath water makes the towel damp, not soaked. She had peed again.

I give up. Maybe next week she'll be clean a little longer.

This is a picture from Virginia's first ever bath. She was a couple weeks old.

Insanity

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

I spend a lot of time nursing Virginia in front of my computer. I can use the computer with one hand. Virginia doesn't seem to care much what I am doing as long as she is still getting food. But sometimes, she will finish up and I will be in the middle of something and I will think, "she can hold on for a minute." I hold her in a pretty comfortable position and she isn't unhappy. But inevitably she spits up on me. It runs down my shirt, her shirt, the boppy pillow, my pants. This happens about once a day.

And yet the next day, she finishes eating and I think, "she can hold on for a minute..."

Jogging

I tried jogging at the park today. I jogged a few times with the stroller when it was still cold outside, but soon decided it was too much of an ordeal to put on workout clothes, run, come home, shower and change. I've been going to the park regularly for a while now and just walking. On a recent trip I really had the urge to run, so I thought I'd give it another try.

It went pretty well, despite the heat. Virginia slept almost the whole time. I managed to jog for about a solid mile, then I alternated jogging and walking for the remander of my 2.5 mile route. I decided to jog the curves and run the straight parts since I have to lock the front wheel to jog. When the stroller is moving at a good clip the front wheel jiggles if it isn't locked. However, if the wheel is locked and I'm going slowly I can't make turns. Jogging just the turns prevented my having to keep locking and unlocking the wheel.