An Introvert Parent

I identify as an introvert although the reality may be somewhere closer to the middle of the spectrum. Nevertheless, the things that get to me, as an introvert, really get to me. I hate small talk but love deep conversation. I need to have time alone to recharge. Socializing can be exhausting for me.

Virginia seems to be an extrovert (jury is still out on Horatio - but starting to suspect introvert), which sometimes drags me into situations that are uncomfortable for me. Like when she talks to random people we meet in public and I'm forced into an awkward conversation.

But I'm realizing that having children, no mater what their 'version, leads to special challenges for the introvert parent.

Even when my children don't strike up a conversation with strangers, I'm in more situations now requiring small talk: birthday parties, day care pick up and drop off, any place we play where there are other children and their parents.

And then there is the general noise of children.

I learned from reading Quiet a couple summers ago that the true difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts are drained by socialization, whereas extroverts are energized by it. This may be an oversimplification, but it is the general idea.

Introverts can easily become overstimulated. So, at the end of the day, when I've been pleasant to my coworkers and students for over 8 hours, and I'm making dinner, and my kids are banging things, twirling around my feet, and giggling-singing-yelling and I start to think I'm going to lose my mind. It isn't my imagination. I've literally had too much and have no more energy left for interacting with people.

I deal with this by taking some time for myself. Sometimes I have time to run by myself (although I often exercise with little helpers). But even if the kids are with me (in the jogging stroller) we can't talk too much and Horatio doesn't pull Virginia's hair the whole time, so I can still kind of be quiet. I've been trying to meditate every day and I find this to be a very efficient way to rest my mind. Television and Internet are fun distractions, but they are still stimulating and so not actually that restful. I can get a big recharge from meditation.

I also now realize what is happening during those moments that are the most difficult for me. I know that the kids aren't being "bad." But for my own sanity I will need to find a way to get them to be quieter or get a little space from them.

Now as I keep hearing about how differently Horatio behaves at day care from at home, I've started wondering if his "even disposition" (yeah, right - the child turns over chairs for fun!) is an expression of introversion. I hope I can help him be true to himself, too.

Maybe John can teach Virginia how to be a good extrovert. (He's a social lightening rod. Very handy at parties.)

Tandem Nursing?

Nope.

Virginia weaned herself in the last weeks of my pregnancy. She nursed less and less after I got pregnant because the milk quickly dried up. She went from twice a day to once a day to once in a while. And before I knew it, I couldn't remember the last time she had nursed! Since she had been going stretches of days I wasn't sure if she had weaned or just taken a long break.

In the next few days she bumped her head and I offered her "boobies" to make her feel better. She accepted, but clearly couldn't remember how to nurse. She put her mouth on me and then looked up at me through the corner of her eye like "What now?" Then, she got down, seemingly satisfied with the attempt.

After Horatio was born she saw him nursing and asked to nurse a couple of times. I knew this would probably happen and let her try. It was the same story. She couldn't remember how to do it, but was happy with the attempt.

I thought that was the end of it, then one night when she was in our bed (which was already weird because she almost never comes into bed with us now that Horatio sleeps in our room - by her own choice) she asked to nurse. I let her try with the same result as before. Almost as soon as she got to day care the next morning they called to say that she was sick. I think she somehow knew that my antibodies would help her. Too bad she didn't get any. It was the first time this year that she was sent home for being sick.

I'll miss this chapter of our lives, but we have found other ways to bond. And there are certainly many advantages to only having one nursling - especially a hungry, growing boy!

I thought tandem nursing would help Virginia accept Horatio, but it doesn't look like she needs that to bond with him. She loves to hold him and give him hugs and kisses. Any sibling jealousy is directed at her parents in the form of an emphatic "No!" to whatever we have asked her to do, or a "Roar!" She is very expressive. And she loves her brother.

Blessingway

I didn't want to have any baby showers with this baby because we already have most things we need. Since we didn't find out Virginia's gender either we are okay on gender neutral stuff, so even if this turns out to be a boy he won't go naked.

I liked the idea of a blessingway because, call me selfish, but I wanted to have a little celebration that was about me. It will be all about the baby soon enough, but between now and then I am going to do some pretty amazing things. I wanted to surround myself with the good wishes of people who are rooting for me.

I had a few friends over a couple weekends ago. Virginia and I made cookies and we had a few other snacks. It was great just sitting around and visiting with the ladies, but I did decide to do a couple of blessingway "things." I asked everyone to bring a bead, which I turned into a bracelet. It will be a great reminder for me of their support.

I also purchased some henna for belly painting. I had no worries about how it would turn out because I already have stretch marks, so how could my belly look any worse? I was actually fully prepared for something like graffiti, but the ladies did a lovely job. (When I told John I was planning to do this, he asked what would happen if I had the baby before the henna wore off. I told him "Shrinky dinks?")

The one thing I somehow didn't predict was that Virginia wanted henna, too. I wasn't real sure about putting henna on her skin, so my sister went looking through my cabinets for an acceptable substitute. Lo-and-behold she actually found body crayons! Virginia whipped her shirt off lickety-split and started coloring on her belly.

Everyone ended up looking beautiful.

Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to enter this labor with the same mental calmness I had for Virginia's. I think that was a large part of what got me through. My life was certainly crazy when I was expecting Virginia - living in my mom's house, no real job... But I had a lot of time to do yoga and meditate and get in the right frame of mind.

Now my life is still crazy, although I do have a job and we live in our own place. But I have very little time for yoga. And meditation? Well, my favorite mantra is "God is everything" so that toddler dumping milk on my yoga mat isn't a distraction, just another true expression of God. Right?

I do feel "blessed" by my friends and I thank them for helping me become prepared in the hardest way to get prepared.

Candle-Lit Bath

I have started trying to get Virginia to go to bed earlier (because I got about one chapter into the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and realized she doesn't have a problem going to sleep, she just doesn't get enough sleep) and so I've been thinking about how we spend our evenings.

I do not bathe Virginia every night, and on the nights I do, it is not the relaxing pre-bed activity some parents enjoy with their toddlers. She gets wild in the bath: splashing, doing twists, getting really worked up. Then, she doesn't want to get out. So by the time bath-time is over we are entering a spiral of her less-than-desirable behavior and my frustration feeding off of each other and the child is wide awake.

One of my coworkers told me that she sometimes lets her kids take a bath in the dark and she throws a glow-stick in the water. They could play for hours. This got me thinking. I don't need Virginia to stay in the bath longer, but this in-the-dark thing could be a good idea. After all, NCSS recommends setting the mood for bedtime by turning off lights.

So I tried lighting some candles in the bathroom and leaving the lights off. The first couple of times, I got in the bath with Virginia, because I was a little nervous about not being able to see her as well. But we have also tried it now with her in the bath on her own. She still plays, but she plays in a much more calm way that doesn't make her extra awake. And then, she agrees to get out of the bath when I ask her to.

Of course, the ultimate goal was for this to lead up to an easy bedtime on the nights that she does take baths, and I think she has gone to sleep better, too.

Regarding the earlier bedtime: We are still working on getting it even a little bit earlier since Virginia has to wake up so early during the week. It is hard on me spending less time with her in the evenings BUT she really is going to bed pretty well, she wakes up happier (which makes our mornings much better) and she is even getting better at naps on the weekends (which was originally why I picked up the book). So it is a challenge, but worth it - even when I have to be creative about baths.

Conversations with a 2-Year-Old

V: Want nana, Momma.
Me: (Because she had already had a snack and dinner was soon) Sorry, sweetie. Please wait until dinner.
V: Want nana.
Me: I'm not giving you a banana right now.
V: (Sitting in her rocking chair where we sometimes share a banana) Momma, want nana.
Me: You are being really cute right now, but I'm still not giving you a banana.
V: (Scowling) I not cute.

Me: (Some question)
V: No
Me: (Another question)
V: No
Me: Are you contrary?
V: Yes!

Me: You are going to be a big sister.
V: No, I not big sister.
Me: Yeah, you are getting a little brother or sister. You will be the big sister.
V: I not big.
Me: Okay. Yes, you are still little, but you will be the oldest.
V: I not oldest. I two.

V: (Being silly while we get out of the tub)
Me: You are a silly billy.
V: I not silly billy.
Me: Momma is a silly billy?
V: Yeah!
Me: Momma is a silly billy. Virginia is very serious.
V: Zia-zia is very ser'ous.

Moving Forward

I feel like after my angsty post of yesterday I should share that I am trying to make the best of the time I have with Virginia. I am a Problem Solver and I know there is a way to do everything I need to do without crushing my child's soul.

The Mornings:
I was actually really stumped about this one. No matter how gently I talk to her and handle her in the morning, she doesn't want to get up. But she has to get up and get dressed and go to day care. Finally, Hubs and I decided he would help so that, if nothing else, her anger wouldn't all be directed at me. Somehow, she actually seems to be happier though (which, of course, is better than her just being mad at someone else). I'm not sure why it worked out this way, but I am glad that Hubs is on board with helping me resolve these issues and that his help is paying off.

Dinner:
The gates all needed to come down anyway because baby belly was making it hard for me to climb over them. This means Virginia now has access to the kitchen. There was one tense moment when she fished a cookie out of the trash can, but she hasn't gotten into anything that could kill her.
In addition to just letting her in the kitchen, I've decided to actively invite her to help me cook. This is complicated because our kitchen is very small and there is nowhere I can pull her up to the counter where she can't reach the stove, the sink, or something else hot or sharp (this is not an exaggeration). I have to watch her very closely and be creative about what she can do to help. But, she much prefers helping me cook to being stuck on the other side of the gate. It is something Momma and Virginia do together instead of a time Virginia has to entertain herself (or bemoan the fact that Momma won't let her watch Dora).

Laundry:
Virginia is actually a pretty good laundry helper when she is in a good mood. I hand her things to put in the dryer.

Nursing:
Nursing is maybe the only thing I can give her that no one else can. She is at a point now where I could wean her with almost no effort. And I have been tempted, since the pregnancy is currently giving me an aversion to nursing. But she still takes comfort in nursing once in a while and letting her hold on to that a little bit longer is the least I can do.

Exercise:
I don't have a great solution for this one yet. The yoga routine that I most benefit from while being pregnant is the one Virginia is least likely to want to "do with me." It is from a book, so I just play my own music and do my thing. She will start out sitting in my lap and breathing with me, but by the time we get to Cow and Cat she is being silly and running into my face or just spilling milk on the yoga mat.
I have a "Mommy and Me" for toddlers video that she likes pretty well, but it is not for pregnancy. And even when I modify or leave out exercises, it is becoming harder and harder for me to use this video.
Virginia likes going for walks and we do. Just no so much during the week, because it gets dark too early right now.
Sometimes I just try to get in a few squats and stretches while I'm playing with her. But, to be honest, I get the best exercise when Hubs agrees to watch Virginia for a little while. This means I have to rely on him and he doesn't always have the time to do this, but, like I said, we're still working on it.

Sleeping:
Virginia sleeps in a bed in her own room. One of us helps her get to sleep each night. Sometimes she sleeps the whole night in her room, sometimes she comes into our bed during the night. A month or two ago she went through a long stretch of nights where she stayed in her bed all night. Now she is back in our bed most nights. I am okay with this. I know that she can sleep in her own bed and when she doesn't there is a reason. Right now the reason could be that she is agitated about the same things I am agitated about. Or it could be that her two-year molars are coming in (I highly suspect this is happening, but it is hard to confirm). Whatever the reason, it will pass, and she will continue to progress towards sleeping more consistently through the night in her room again.

Showers/Baths:
This is actually a huge one for me. After Virginia was born I was in shock over never being alone. I mean, maybe it sounds obvious that new babies require a lot of attention and are kind of always attached to you, but vaguely being aware of this fact and actually living it are two very different things. When I could get in a shower after Hubs was home and have the bathroom to myself, soaking in that glorious warm water. That was my moment.
Even though Virginia is older now and I spend hours away from her at work, I still don't have much time to myself. I have spent months working on stories (for storytelling) in the shower (and at practically no other time).
Then, one night, Hubs was out and I needed to take a shower, so I asked Virginia to sit in the bouncy swing (that can hang in the doorway). She said "No. Shower with Momma." I had tried to take her in the shower a couple of times before with not good results, but this time I put her ducky tub in the bathtub with me, let her sit in that, and I just stood in the remaining space while showering. Even though the water that accumulated in her ducky tub didn't seem that warm to me, she was really happy.
We do this sometimes now and sometimes I also get in the bath with her. She really prefers it to bathing alone. She doesn't like to get out, and that is hard (especially if I am getting cold!), but I've been able to talk her through it and I think we end up ahead overall.
The thing is, I'm actually starting to not mind giving up my shower time. I don't know if I'm becoming more zen (one can always hope) or if I'm so distressed by having Virginia mad at me all the time that it is easier for me to do things that make her happy, or what. But, I'll take it. I really feel more at peace about having less "me" time.

I said it was hard being a working mom, but I'm thinking, not impossible. All of these things are a challenge, but they are helping and that is what really matters.

The Truth About Being a Working Mom

I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mom. I always had career aspirations and I spent a lot of money on my education with the presumption that it would pay off with my being employable.

When I had Virginia, I stayed home with her for eight months. Not just because I wanted to, but because I was unemployed. And when I got a job, I went back to work. I am glad, now, that I had that time with Virginia, because by the time I had to put her in day care, she was ready to play with other babies, so I thought maybe she was having fun.

I do like working. My job is intellectually stimulating and I am good at it. One of the hardest things about being a new mother was feeling like I was probably doing something wrong 90% of the time. But at work, my estimation of my own success is considerably higher. It is really nice to feel like a success. My job is also fun and even includes warm fuzzies. I have fourth grade students stop me in the halls to talk about books. How awesome is that?

My job is also good for my family. I have a retirement plan and solid benefits that mean we get the medical care we need at a price that doesn't cripple us. Hubs is starting his own law practice and we are going to survive the start-up period because I have a steady income.

I have been pretty okay with having Virginia in day care. After all, I get school holidays off, so I do see her more than most working moms see their children. And she is getting socialized and she goes outside twice a day and makes crafts and is mostly happy.

But now that she is two, she has more opinions than she used to and she is pretty good at expressing them. It is her opinion that she doesn't want to get out of bed at 6:30 in the morning. It is her opinion that she certainly doesn't want to change out of her warm pajamas at 6:30 in the morning. It is her opinion that practically everything Momma does to her between 6:30 and 7:00 in the morning to get her out the door is torture. It is also her opinion that anything Momma needs to do in the afternoon, like make dinner, do laundry, or - god forbid - exercise, sucks.

Now, I'm not going to let a two-year-old run my life, but she kind of has a point. Most of the time I have to spend with her on an average day, I spend making her do stuff she doesn't want to do or not giving her my full attention. And it does suck. She is mad at me a lot because, as far as she can tell, I am always no fun. It is breaking my heart.

Maybe I'm just emotional because I'm having another baby soon with whom I won't get to spend eight solid months. My plan is to have just four months off, and that is taking advantage of summer vacation. But I suspect it isn't just hormones. I suspect that being a good momma who works is even harder than being a good momma who stays at home.


A happy moment with Virginia, decorating for Christmas.

(Please no comments about how Virginia is "just being two." On weekends and days off when I can really spend time with her, our relationship is better and everyone is happier. I'm not saying every moment is blissful, but the "two-year-old" moments are easier to weather.)

All Your Questions Answered

Adults and children alike all like to talk to pregnant women about their pregnancy. There are several standard questions:

"When are you due?" - This is actually very preferable to taking a guess. I've had one person ask if I was due in December (I'm due at end of March - but babies come when they come...) and one person ask if I was 7 months along when I was only 5. Then they try to recover their fumble by telling me how small I am. I assume this is supposed to mean that my small frame makes my belly look comparatively huge. Ummmm, please just stop talking.

"Are you excited?" - What if I said, no? Wouldn't that be awkward? (I am excited, for the record. I just think it's a weird thing to ask.)

"How are you feeling?" - I keep imagining these people are sadists who want to hear of my agony. Morning sickness, sleeplessness, aches and pains, swelling, etc. Too bad for them I'm in the good part right now.

"Is it a girl or a boy." - There are two other woman due around the same time as I am where I work and they both know the gender of their bumps, so people can feel confident by this point that I could know. But I don't. I don't want to. I like the joy of waiting to meet my baby until I can meet my baby. Until then I will know him or her through the way he or she chooses to interact with me - like by using my bladder as a trampoline and throwing late night raves.
I did learn during my first pregnancy that I need to explain that I am not finding out. I had a high-schooler in a class I was subbing for get really offended because she thought I knew the gender and just wasn't telling.

"Have you thought of any baby names?" - Not knowing the gender does curb the occurrence of this question, but I still get it. Yesterday I answered one of my students with a laconic, "Yes." Again, I don't want to offend, but this is something I'm not that in to sharing.
At first I thought she was a little hurt and I was going to explain that I'm just not telling anyone when she said, "Oh, I get it. It's like when my parents were getting me my very own dog and I got to pick out the name and I told my sister what I wanted to name it and she told the maid and my mom and dad and then everybody told me the names they came up with that they thought were better."
Very insightful for a fifth-grader. It's just like that.

And less frequently:

"Have you had any cravings?" - Yes. Brains. (At some point I get a little tired of pregnancy questions.)

"Where are you having the baby?" - At home. But my choice to birth at home is in no way a judgment on where you birthed or will birth your babies. And now that you think I am a crazy person maybe we can talk about something else.

Things She Says

Virginia talks a lot these days. She repeats almost everything we say, like she is trying it out. Figuring out how to say it, what it means, when you might say that. That kind of thing. With so much repeating, if there are things she doesn't repeat instantly I don't think about the fact that she might have learned them. But she has. In context.

For example, the other night I was helping Virginia take off her socks. She likes for me to get them over her heels so she can just yank them off. After we got them off together she exclaimed, "Nice work, Momma!" (This comment also makes me wonder if I am over praising, but at least she didn't tell me I was "smart.")

And then a couple of evenings ago John was going to hang out with her while I took a shower. He had already decided that they were not going to watch any TV, but Virginia instantly requested, "Watch Dorap?" (That's "Dora." I don't know why she pronounces it with a "p" on the end.) Instead of just telling her "no" and suggesting another activity, John decided to tease her.
"Do you want to watch my car show?"
"No. Watch Dorap."
"What about that cooking show that I like?"
"No. Only Dorap."

I think this comes from the fact that when we offer Virginia choices she often tries to come up with an unoffered third.
"Would you like milk or water?"
"Juice."
"Your choices are only milk or water."
So she is trying to turn that technique around on us.

Both of these comments have totally floored me because she didn't repeat them right after one of us said them. She understood them, saved them up, and said them at the right time. I am really loving being able to communicate with her!



Look at this girl getting ready to be a great (and probably bossy) big sister!

Light Switch Rave

The other night Virginia walked over to the wall, reached up, and turned the lights off. Then she turned them on again. Then she said "Look, Momma. Lights off! Lights on!"

I was very puzzled by this new development for a moment. You see, I distinctly remember a time when I was old enough to need to turn the lights on and off by myself but wasn't tall enough to do so. My father made me a pole with a hook on the end so I could nudge the switch up or pull it down.

My daughter seems to take after me, so far, in that she is petite. So how is it possible that at under two she can reach the light switch?!!

Then I remembered that we live in a handicapped accessible apartment. All the light switches are much lower on the wall than in a normal building. When we first moved in I had to get used to the different height, but now I don't even think about it any more. In fact, when I am using light switches in other people's homes I usually reach for the wrong spot on the wall.

I guess that when we eventually move away, if Virginia is not tall enough to reach the switches in our new place, I'll have to get her a pole with a hook on the end.

Virginia's Three Laws of Toddler Motion

1: A toddler at rest will remain at rest until Momma sits down to write a blog post. A toddler in motion will continue in motion until she decides to throw herself on the ground crying because Momma can't make her pink purse appear RIGHT NOW.

2: Acceleration happens when bribes are applied to a toddler in motion. The more intent the toddler is on looking at the dead bug on the ground the better the bribe will have to be.

3: For every Momma action there is an equal and opposite toddler reaction.

Some Days Are Like That

I woke up this morning in some intestinal distress, but figured it was because my stomach didn't like what I ate for dinner last night. Went to work, still felt a little off, but I ate a banana and thought that would fix everything.

I managed to eat some lunch and make it through the day without any incident. But, by the end of the day I felt pretty lousy and wondered if I was actually sick and not just rejecting greasy food. After the experience I had last fall with a stomach bug, that was the one type of illness I was determined not to get while pregnant. But, if this is my one stomach bug for the year it is far better than what I went through the last time.

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and my goal was just to make it home and make some soup for dinner. I left work as early as I could and headed to day care to get Virginia. She was in a swing on the playground and didn't want to leave, but she was okay once I picked her up. I walked through one of the other classrooms to take her inside and put her down so she could talk to a friend who hasn't moved up to her class yet.

As I set her down my hand brushed her belly and it felt wet. I looked down and saw that she had poop coming out the front of her diaper, all over the front of her pants and shirt, and of course, all over me where I had held her. She had probably pooped while she was on the swing so I'm not bothered the teachers didn't notice. That stuff happens. I took her to her classroom and cleaned her up as much as I could, carrying her to the car in just a clean diaper.

Virginia and I took a bath as soon as we got home. So much for just surviving. Momma duty never ends.

Humor

Virginia was standing behind me the other day hugging my legs. She said "Wub-oo" ("I love you"), which was sooooo sweet.

Then she stuck her recently refilled (and so ice cold) sippy cup on my bare leg and said, "Momma, cold." She did it on purpose to make me jump.

I'm glad she has a sense of humor.

Baby #2

There are a lot of things I could say about being pregnant again, but since it is world breastfeeding week, I guess I'll talk about that.

I want to tandem nurse.

That's right, I want to have a toddler attached to one boob and an infant attached to the other. And it may happen, since Virginia is still nursing, although it is possible she will wean herself during the pregnancy. (And if she does I won't stop her.)

There are a few reasons I want to tandem nurse:

1) I believe it will help Virginia bond with the new baby. Nursing will be something they can do together. Something she can share with her new sibling.

2) I believe it will help Virginia to still feel warm and fuzzy towards me. I'm sure she will have struggles w/ the amount of attention the new baby will need, but she can take comfort in knowing there is always a boobie* for her.

3) Assuming Virginia still wants to nurse at 27 months and beyond, tandem nursing will let me do that. I won't have to cut her off prematurely.

Now, there will be some struggles. Already my nipples feel like they will fall off if I brush against them too hard (due to pregnancy hormones) so nursing is no picnic. I'm not sure how I'll hold Virginia as my belly gets bigger, but my midwives assure me toddlers are innovative when it comes to figuring out how to nurse. I'm also not sure how I'll juggle a big one and a little one at the same time, but many pictures I've seen on the internet lead me to believe it is possible.

In the mean time, Virginia and I are working through the pain and enjoying each other's company. And I am enjoying being able to give her what she needs when she is sleepy or hurting or just misses me.

* Virginia actually calls them "boobies." This was an unfortunate mistake on my part. When she was itty bitty and she would finish on one breast I would ask if she "wanted the other boobie." (You talk to yourself a lot when you have a newborn.) It never occurred to me to stop doing this and then one day Virginia was saying "boobies." And this is how she asks to nurse. Slightly embarrassing in public...

Sleepy John II

Of course right after I said that Virginia had been sleeping great she started waking up at night again. To be fair, her fang teeth are finally coming in - slowly and painfully - so I can't really blame her.

She came into our room last night and I snuggled her in the bed between me and John. She kept rotating herself horizontally so that her head was digging into my back between my shoulder blades and her feet were on John (her favorite sleeping position). So, periodically I was having to lift her up and put her back in a vertical alignment.

During one of these shifts John rolled over and said, "Hon, did you take care of the guar?"
Me: "What?"
John: "The guar"
Me: "Oh, you're not awake."
John: "Yes I am. What about the guar?"
Me: ???
John: "You're right. I wasn't awake. I am now. Sorry."

Big Girl Bed

After Virginia slept so agreeably on the floor in the Durham hotel I began to think she may just not like her crib.

Since we've been back she has been sleeping in the twin bed I grew up sleeping in. I put a rail on the side so she can't fall off in her sleep and I pushed my trunk up to the foot of the bed so she can climb up and down herself. Here is how this has worked out so far:

Virginia will climb into bed herself at the end of our bedtime routine. So, if she doesn't fall asleep nursing, she is, at least, willing to go to bed, which is very different from with the crib.

I'll lay down with her for a few minutes until she drifts off. This part was taking not a short amount of time until I rearranged her room and added an ipod stand. Now I play sleepy baby music while she is going to sleep and she relaxes and stays asleep much faster.

Not only has going to bed gotten easier, she actually STAYS ASLEEP! When we first moved to the bed she did still wake up during the middle of the night, but she has stopped doing this and we have had a couple weeks of full nights of sleep.

When she does wake up (at night or in the morning - which, let's face it, is still usually a little earlier than I would get up) she tends to cry for me to come get her, but just this morning she padded into our room without any fuss at 7:30am. I know some parents lock their kids in their room so they can't leave on their own, but I was quite pleased she figured this out. If she cries I'm going to put her in my bed anyway, she might as well save me the trip by coming to me! I think it helps that she has been sleeping better, too, so it's not like she is climbing in bed with me at midnight every night and not really sleeping in her bed. We'll see how things progress, since children never stay the same, but so far I'm very happy with the big girl bed and with Virginia being able to come to me when she needs me!

Funny Conversation

When I was hanging out with my half-siblings recently (both elementary age)...

T: Is Virginia your only baby? Are you going to have any more?

Me: Why? Do you love having a sibling? You would be lost without your brother?

T: I'm lost with him. [Said while hugging her brother.]

I always enjoyed having someone to be lost with. ;)


Me and my sister, Amanda.

Adventures in Atlanta

Virginia and I had so much fun this week entertaining my cousin, Kieran, who is visiting from New York. Sunday we had a 4th of July cook-out with Dad's side of the family (minus Dad) and Aunt Kathy (Kieran's mom, visiting from Texas).

Monday, John and I invited Kieran to come with us to a friend's 4th of July party. Kieran was a good sport and agreed to come with me to hear storytelling earlier in the day, too. It started out a little slow and I was afraid he was wondering what I got him into, but then it picked up! Virginia charmed everyone at the party that evening, even though she got conked in the head with the door.

Tuesday, Virginia and I drove to Grandma's after a lunch storytelling meeting and hung out with everyone there for a while.

Wednesday we did the aquarium with Amanda. I had never been before so it was pretty neat. It was crowded even though we got there in the morning, but at least Virginia was riding on my back and not in a bulky stroller. ;) The ballroom was not crowded at all, so we got to stare at the beluga whales for a long time. They were definitely looking back at us and they kept rubbing up against the glass, like they wanted to touch us (just like we touch the glass). Virginia loved them, so I bought her a plush beluga whale. She wouldn't even let me take it back long enough to pay for it. The cashier had to scan it while it was still in Virginia's hands. On the way home Virginia insisted that I keep singing the song about swimming that is on our mommy and me work-out video until she fell asleep.

Thursday was my birthday! Virginia, Amanda, Kieran, and I went miniature golfing. Virginia had her own ball and club, which she clung to the entire time we were there, lest anyone take them from her. Then we ate a Steak n' Shake and Kieran came back to the apartment to play Mario Kart with me while Amanda left to do some work.

Friday we all went to the zoo. I got a membership at the beginning of the summer and this was the third time Virginia and I had gone. Different things have been happening each time we have been, so it is well worth it to keep going. Virginia rode on my back again and she started getting squirmy in the reptile house, insisting that all the snakes and frogs were "Mine!" Then she laid her head on me and fell asleep, so I guess she was tired. We ate lunch at the zoo and then came back to the apartment for more Mario Kart, this time with Amanda, too! All of us, including John, went to Grandma's for dinner and Bananagrams to send off Kieran and Aunt Kathy, who leave this morning.

It will be kind of sad to go back to my normal life next week, but it has been a lot of fun!

The Rest of the Week

So I didn't quite blog every day like I started out. It's been a busy week. In class we have had lots of guest speakers on different types of documentary: photography, video, audio, writing, etc. We have had some class discussions, and we have watched some documentaries.

I fell behind on blogging because my evenings have been full. Tuesday we had a class get-together on the porch, which John and Virginia came to. She had fun playing with my professor's kids (ages 5 and 3). They ran around together and held hands. So sweet!

I had an extra class meeting on Wednesday and Thursday evenings for documentary viewings.

Last night Virginia really seemed to miss me. :( We had gotten her to sleep on a blanket on the floor for a few nights (didn't take the pack and play to save trunk space) but I let her back in the bed last night. If I can't see her during the day, the least I can do is cuddle with her at night! She was her usual bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self this morning, so I think she appreciated it.

Today is my last day of class and we are preparing to do 5 minute presentations on our documentary ideas this afternoon. I am talking for my entire presentation - no power point or pictures or audio I have previously collected (some people have projects in progress).

I found a quiet place outside to talk to myself and my first run-through was 10 minutes. Yikes! I did some cutting and I think I'm good.

John and Virginia have spent the week going to the park, the museum, and the gardens. He has some good pictures on his facebook - especially of Virginia and the duckies.




I am so fortunate these two agreed to follow me up here and continue to support my interests!

Sunday in Durham

John, Virginia, and I went to the Museum of Life and Science when it opened at noon.

What a great place! There were drums and chimes Virginia enjoyed hitting with sticks. Then we went to the butterfly house. Virginia had a great view from my back! After that we walked over to see the bears, lemurs, and wolves. We took a short break for a snack, then went inside to see the space exhibit (I insisted). We were there about 4 hours and didn't see everything. Maybe John and Virginia will go back on their own this week.

In the evening I had the first session of my class: introductions and discussions about the opening sequence of Spike Lee's "When the Levees Broke."

I told Virginia to take John out for father's day, so they went to a pub where Virginia sat in a "dusty" high chair (been a while since it was used). She charmed everyone there including the bikers.