Sleepy John II

Of course right after I said that Virginia had been sleeping great she started waking up at night again. To be fair, her fang teeth are finally coming in - slowly and painfully - so I can't really blame her.

She came into our room last night and I snuggled her in the bed between me and John. She kept rotating herself horizontally so that her head was digging into my back between my shoulder blades and her feet were on John (her favorite sleeping position). So, periodically I was having to lift her up and put her back in a vertical alignment.

During one of these shifts John rolled over and said, "Hon, did you take care of the guar?"
Me: "What?"
John: "The guar"
Me: "Oh, you're not awake."
John: "Yes I am. What about the guar?"
Me: ???
John: "You're right. I wasn't awake. I am now. Sorry."

Adventures in Atlanta

Virginia and I had so much fun this week entertaining my cousin, Kieran, who is visiting from New York. Sunday we had a 4th of July cook-out with Dad's side of the family (minus Dad) and Aunt Kathy (Kieran's mom, visiting from Texas).

Monday, John and I invited Kieran to come with us to a friend's 4th of July party. Kieran was a good sport and agreed to come with me to hear storytelling earlier in the day, too. It started out a little slow and I was afraid he was wondering what I got him into, but then it picked up! Virginia charmed everyone at the party that evening, even though she got conked in the head with the door.

Tuesday, Virginia and I drove to Grandma's after a lunch storytelling meeting and hung out with everyone there for a while.

Wednesday we did the aquarium with Amanda. I had never been before so it was pretty neat. It was crowded even though we got there in the morning, but at least Virginia was riding on my back and not in a bulky stroller. ;) The ballroom was not crowded at all, so we got to stare at the beluga whales for a long time. They were definitely looking back at us and they kept rubbing up against the glass, like they wanted to touch us (just like we touch the glass). Virginia loved them, so I bought her a plush beluga whale. She wouldn't even let me take it back long enough to pay for it. The cashier had to scan it while it was still in Virginia's hands. On the way home Virginia insisted that I keep singing the song about swimming that is on our mommy and me work-out video until she fell asleep.

Thursday was my birthday! Virginia, Amanda, Kieran, and I went miniature golfing. Virginia had her own ball and club, which she clung to the entire time we were there, lest anyone take them from her. Then we ate a Steak n' Shake and Kieran came back to the apartment to play Mario Kart with me while Amanda left to do some work.

Friday we all went to the zoo. I got a membership at the beginning of the summer and this was the third time Virginia and I had gone. Different things have been happening each time we have been, so it is well worth it to keep going. Virginia rode on my back again and she started getting squirmy in the reptile house, insisting that all the snakes and frogs were "Mine!" Then she laid her head on me and fell asleep, so I guess she was tired. We ate lunch at the zoo and then came back to the apartment for more Mario Kart, this time with Amanda, too! All of us, including John, went to Grandma's for dinner and Bananagrams to send off Kieran and Aunt Kathy, who leave this morning.

It will be kind of sad to go back to my normal life next week, but it has been a lot of fun!

The Rest of the Week

So I didn't quite blog every day like I started out. It's been a busy week. In class we have had lots of guest speakers on different types of documentary: photography, video, audio, writing, etc. We have had some class discussions, and we have watched some documentaries.

I fell behind on blogging because my evenings have been full. Tuesday we had a class get-together on the porch, which John and Virginia came to. She had fun playing with my professor's kids (ages 5 and 3). They ran around together and held hands. So sweet!

I had an extra class meeting on Wednesday and Thursday evenings for documentary viewings.

Last night Virginia really seemed to miss me. :( We had gotten her to sleep on a blanket on the floor for a few nights (didn't take the pack and play to save trunk space) but I let her back in the bed last night. If I can't see her during the day, the least I can do is cuddle with her at night! She was her usual bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self this morning, so I think she appreciated it.

Today is my last day of class and we are preparing to do 5 minute presentations on our documentary ideas this afternoon. I am talking for my entire presentation - no power point or pictures or audio I have previously collected (some people have projects in progress).

I found a quiet place outside to talk to myself and my first run-through was 10 minutes. Yikes! I did some cutting and I think I'm good.

John and Virginia have spent the week going to the park, the museum, and the gardens. He has some good pictures on his facebook - especially of Virginia and the duckies.




I am so fortunate these two agreed to follow me up here and continue to support my interests!

Sleep

Sleep is a big issue for people with small children. Virginia has been going through a sleep regression. She doesn't make it the whole night in her own bed most nights. But I am okay with this for two reasons:
1) She has a lot going on that could be disturbing her sleep. New teeth. New neurons firing in her brain from her massive language developments. Frequent day care sniffles. Etc.
2) Once I move her to my bed I get to go back to sleep. When I get to sleep I am a happy person.

I don't do cry-it-out, and I am not making a judgment on people who do, but it isn't for me. Early on when I discovered all the mommy blogs out there I remember reading one person's assertion that we have to teach our children that sleep is safe. This makes so much sense to me. How do babies know they are safe when they wake up alone in a dark room? They are evolutionarily programed to know they can't fend for themselves. Furthermore, as a grown woman, I still don't always feel safe when I wake up alone. I consistently had problems sleeping when I lived by myself in a studio apartment in Tuscaloosa. I know what that feels like. I know it's natural. I don't want to train Virginia to not cry. I want her to not cry because she knows she is safe.

And there are still some nights she spends the whole night in her crib. I know she wakes up, rearranges herself, and goes back to sleep on those nights. Those nights she doesn't cry because she doesn't need anything.

All this being said, her sleep regression has recently manifested as her not falling asleep while I am nursing her at night. She used to nurse to sleep most of the time, but now it is hit or miss. The problem is that John can't seem to get her to sleep at all, so I'm left wondering what to do with this awake baby who wants to get down and play.

When I turn out her light she knows she isn't leaving the room. The first couple of nights I did this there were tears. But as I held her in my arms she laid her head on my shoulder and slowly accepted that she needed to sleep. I hated to let her cry even then. But I felt that since I was holding her, she at least knew she wasn't alone. I have continued to take this approach and she has stopped crying. When the light goes out she really tries to fall asleep in my arms. Sometimes it takes a little while, but she is trying. And she always knows she is safe.

Those nights when she wasn't falling asleep and I felt like I had no strategies and John had no strategies were tough ones. But it seems like we are finally getting through it. And I have to admit that I have had some really sweet mornings waking up to a happy baby tapping me on the arm until I open my eyes, then saying, "Hi!"

Running

For all of my K-12 experience running was my least favorite thing to do in PE. Every year running the mile was one of the body tests the PE teacher wanted you to do and we usually did it more than once since we had to practice before the test. I remember that we wouldn't pass if we took longer than 15 minutes. (The average person can walk a 15 minute mile.) I usually clocked in around 11 minutes. Cutting it a little close.

My problem was that I would get a terrible stitch in my side. The teacher said if we regulated our breathing we wouldn't get cramps like that. I would try to breath in for four steps and out for four steps, which did keep me from getting a cramp. BUT it also made me feel like I was suffocating. Seriously, I didn't feel like I was getting enough air. Now, I knew this was probably not true since I wasn't blacking out, but it was a hard feeling to endure.

By high school I was disciplined enough to run slowly enough that I could keep running for the whole mile and not have to walk. I would have to regulate my breathing so I wouldn't get a cramp and I still felt like I was suffocating, but I could do it for a mile.

After I graduated from high school I didn't think I would ever run a mile again. I took tennis as my PE in college.

But then a funny thing happened. I realized that I needed to exercise. Gym memberships cost money and the workout room at my apartment complex was open pretty much the same hours I was at work. You can walk out your front door and run. No equipment required. So I gave it another shot.

I really started running while I was living in Athens next to the library (where I also worked). There was a school across the street and I used their track when there weren't any sports going on. I listened to audio books while I ran. My goal was to stay out there for 30 minutes. I ran the first mile, then alternated running and walking for the rest of the 30 minutes. After a couple of weeks I could run a mile and a lap, then a mile and a half, then two miles.

Soon, I was getting tired of running so many laps, so I started running in the neighborhoods, creating longer and longer paths as I got better at running. Speed was never a concern of mine, I just wanted to run. So after I could run the whole 30 minutes, I just started running longer.

I was able to do a good bit of running in England, but pregnancy and motherhood have caused me to seriously cut back. However, this past weekend I was glad to see that it shouldn't be too hard for me to pick it back up. Without training, I ran a 5k. I ran the whole time. I didn't run fast, but I never had to walk. Considering that running used to make me feel like I was dying and I haven't run over three miles since before Virginia was born, I think that's pretty good.

I've started to think of running as the purest form of exercise. As I mentioned in an earlier post, ancient man practiced endurance hunting. We are built not to outrun the fastest animals, but outlast them. We can run and run and run. I don't know if I'll ever win any races, but I'd like to keep adding miles onto my personal top distance. I'd like to be able to step out my front door, start running, and really go somewhere. It is beautiful and it is what my body was built to do.



Me in my cold-weather running gear in England.

Mexican Restaurant

John and I made an impromptu stop at a Mexican restaurant for lunch yesterday since we were out and everyone was hungry. It was an eventful meal.

First, we learned that the Italian genes are truly un-dilutable. I let Virginia try some salsa. She sucked it off the chip and asked for more. John wanted to give her queso dip, but since it had jalapenos I was a little dubious. Virginia had no doubts, however, and made it clear that she wanted cheese. We let her try that, too. She didn't even flinch.

Later on in the meal Virginia got a handful of refried beans. Yeah.

And at the end of our visit our waitress brought a helium balloon for Virginia. She surely knows how to charm adults.

Jokes

My father-in-law loved puns and corny jokes. I also love puns, so I was delighted to know someone else who didn't think all puns are groan-worthy. (They were good enough for Shakespeare...)

In honor of my father-in-law I am sharing my favorite pun and some science jokes (he was a physicist). Please add your jokes in the comments.

This guy entered ten puns in a pun competition thinking that at least one of them would win. But, no-pun-in-ten-did.

One atom said to another, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"

The other atom said, "Are you sure?"

The first atom said, "Yeah, I'm positive."

Heisenberg got pulled over by a police officer. The officer asked him, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No," Answered Heisenberg. "But I know where I am."

That's all for now. Please tell me your jokes!

Amazing Things That Happened in 2010

• I got to spend 8 months at home with my new baby!
• I got my dream job
• John and I moved into our own apartment
• I got my first paying storytelling gig
• John got a new job working from home
• Virginia turned 1

2008 and 2009 were years filled with huge changes, marriage, a move to England, a move back to the US, the birth of our first baby...

2010 actually had a slower pace than the previous years. It was a year of my life coming together. I am very happy.

Life Isn't Fair

When I was growing up the "f" word in our house was "fair." As in, we weren't supposed to say it. If I ever uttered the phrase "That's not fair!" the obligatory parental response was, "Life isn't fair." If the goal was to get me to stop complaining that things weren't fair, this was successful. I didn't like hearing that life wasn't fair and avoided talking about fairness altogether.

But, I was really bothered by the whole "Life isn't fair" thing. Because, on the one hand, life isn't fair and I know that sometimes you need to accept that. But on the other hand, sometimes grown-ups do things that either seem, or legitimately are, unfair. Just because unfair things happen that we can't help, does that mean we should give up on being fair ourselves?

Then, I read The Princess Bride. There is a quotation in this book: "Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." Strange as it may sound it brought me peace. It made me feel like it wasn't wrong for me to want things to be fair. It made me feel like there was a point to putting up with things that aren't fair. Life may not be fair, but it is fairer than death.

John's father died unexpectedly this past Sunday. He was dear to many people and his absence has brought a lot of sorrow. And these two things are connected. We wouldn't be so sad if he hadn't been so awesome. Death isn't fair. It is hard to accept that he is gone. But life is fairer than death because for a while he was a part of our lives and now we live on to touch others.

Hold your families close this Christmas and try to be fair. Because life isn't.

Sleepy John

Sometimes when John is half asleep he says funny things. The other morning when I came out of the bathroom John (still in bed) rolled over and said, "Sorry I was no help last night and this morning."

Virginia has been waking up at night again off and on. But that night she hadn't woken up. So I said, "I didn't need help with anything."

"Good," said John, "Because I wouldn't have gotten up."

I don't think he meant that. He is pretty good about helping out.

That's when I realized he wasn't really awake.

One Year

Virginia will turn one year old tomorrow at 7:44 pm.

We had a party for her this afternoon with family members. Virginia got lots of neat loot and she had her first cake and ice cream. I think the best thing about the party, though, was to see how many people adore Virginia, and to see her so happy to be interacting with everyone.

It has been an interesting year. It is hard to believe she was so brand new and tiny such a short time ago. It is also still hard for me to believe I'm a mother!

If you haven't yet had the privilege of reading Virginia's birth story in full uncensored detail, feel free to read it here. The one thing I forgot to put in the story (I was bound to forget something, right? I had a lot on my mind...) was that during the toughest parts of labor, looking into John's eyes helped me focus, relax, know that I could go on. Well, the hard work doesn't end when the baby is born. That is just the beginning! During the last year John has helped me through many a sleepless night and poopslposion. I couldn't do this without him.

Go Ahead, Make My Day

As Virginia and I were coming up the stairs from the underground parking the other day she was making noises and I was making noises back at her. Then I heard someone else coming down the stairs and I thought, "Oh great! This person is going to think I am weird."

Well, of course, once Virginia realized there was someone coming down the stairs she turned toward the woman and flashed her a big grin, showing off all of her four teeth. The woman smiled back, pinched Virginia's cheek and said, "You just made my day!"

I am so lucky to live with a day-maker like Virginia every day!

Peep this cuteness from last weekend:

This Weekend Smells Scary

Smell 1:

Something in our apartment stinks. One of the cats has not adjusted to the move well and has peed on the carpet on occasion. Usually it is not that noticeable, but when I walked in the front door the other day the smell was overwhelming. I have been treating the carpet heavily, looking for undiscovered stains with a black light, and pondering ways to prevent the cat from peeing on the carpet while enticing her to pee in a litter box. Nevertheless, there is still a smell. I am forced to consider other possible sources of the smell, like, could a food item have rolled under a cabinet somewhere and rotted? Could there be a dead animal in the walls? Or has the cat really suddenly developed stinkier pee?

Smell 2:

Virginia has been having some ass-plosions. Yesterday we returned home from an outing and I was convinced I had stepped in dog poo. Not only was the smell actually coming from my darling, innocent-looking baby, but the offending poop was leaking out the back of her diaper. She had several more poops of this stench (with differing levels of containment failure) throughout the day and totalled about four outfits. I have heard teething can cause diarrhea (though I'm not sure why that should be the case) and she is definitely teething. Other possible causes of her intestinal problems include the large number of yogurt puffs John and I have let her eat recently, or another stomach virus (please no). I will say she seems to have no other ailments and is generally happy whether she stinks or not.

In more fragrant news, John has new Old Spice body wash, so he smells like a monster.

Twix Bear Cub

When John and I were on our spring road trip across England and Wales an incident happened which spawned the term "Twix Bear."

We had stopped at a rest stop and John had gotten a couple of candy bars. As he was getting into the car a Twix fell out of his hand and got lost under the car seat. He roared and pawed at the seat until he finally retrieved the Twix.

I sat in stunned silence and once he finally calmed down, all I could do was laugh. John looked at me and said "What?" I said, "You were like a bear. 'Rawr, I lost my Twix bar!!!'"

Then John started laughing, too. Since then, if John gets upset over something kind of silly, we say he has turned into the "Twix Bear."

Yesterday Virginia was trying to climb up John and got kind of frustrated (she isn't as mobile as she wants to be). John said he thinks its funny how she can get mad so easily about silly things. I said, "Oh, like the Twix Bear?"

Virginia must be a Twix Bear Cub.

Caught Being Happy

The move is still underway, but of course we have other things going on as well.

On Monday we had to take the new car in for maintenance. While it was in the shop John, Virginia, and I walked to the mall.

I was pushing Virginia in the stroller and walking a little behind John. He cut over in front of me and I almost ran into him. I joked that he should use turn signals. John did a bike signal for "right" and turned right. Then he signaled for "left" and turned left. Then I almost ran into him when he did the "stop" signal and stopped. Fortunately I stopped at the last second.

A woman passed us in the mall and saw us goofing around and giggling. She commented, "You look like a happy couple." Normally I find being noticed to be a little embarrassing, but I realized that because she noticed us, I noticed us, too. In the midst of our moving stress, we are happy, and having a great time!

Thoughts on Moving Mid-Move

John and I packed up (most) of our stuff at my mom's house yesterday and then drove the U-Haul to his parents' house where other stuff has been stored since before we moved to England.

Some observations:

• Folding up the swing Virginia has outgrown I had one of those moments of "Oh, I remember those days. She used to be so tiny!"
• Nursing is good for making you take breaks. Also it was nice to reconnect with Virginia every few hours, since she spent most of her time with Grandmommy, who came over to help out.
• Lifting heavy boxes all day will make the baby feel lighter.
• The cats were pretty traumatized that we locked them in a room while the door to the outside was open and then took away the cat tree and futon.

I am so excited to be moving into a place that is ours.

It's What's For Dinner

John and I made stir fry pretty frequently when we were living in England. Stir frying is fast and easy and even healthy. It also helped that John liked stir frying so it was a good way for me to get him to cook.

We had ingredients in the house for stir frying last night so I asked John if he would help me make dinner. Sometimes it really is helpful to have two people working together since you want to move quickly once the oil is hot. Of course, both of us in the kitchen means someone else has to be in the kitchen, too. I got Virginia situated on my back in the mei tai and we were in business. It was nice cooking with John. And I couldn't see Virginia very well, but John said she was quite pleased to be riding high.

And while we were enjoying our yummy food Virginia got some banana. But not banana in a baby feeder. I am really working with her on truly experiencing her food, feeding herself, learning to chew and swallow (not suck down food like she does milk). I sliced the banana long ways for her so she could hold the pieces easily. An entire banana got used up. Most of it ended up in mashed bits in her high chair. But some ended up in her mouth where it got gummed and swallowed. I so love watching her learn. Maybe in the next couple of months she can start eating bits of the same stuff we are having!

I don't wanna write a love song for the world...

When John is hanging out with Virginia they usually do one of two things:

1. Go shopping at Frys where Virginia has been known to pick out anime series for John and I to watch together.
2. Dance to music playing from John's computer.

Virginia' s new favorite song is Say Hey (I Love You). I've seen the two of them dance to it several times. John holds Virginia facing out and she gets a big grin on her face while they bounce around.

Yesterday, when I was putting Virginia back in her car seat after church, a live version of her song came on the radio. She had been squirming and flailing, making it pretty hard to buckle her in. But as soon as the song came on she relaxed, smiled, and started bobbing her head.

Virginia may be saying "mamama" a little more these days, but she loves her daddy so much!

My Little Bunny

"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his mother, "I will be a tree that you come home to." - The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown

Now that Virginia is not having such a problem with reflux we have been able to do more baby-wearing that is comfortable for both of us. Some positions used to put too much pressure on her tummy and I was still new and learning how to attach her to me without dropping her on her head, so there were some challenges. But now she is a bird and I am the tree she comes home to.

Here is a little bit about our collection of baby-wearing devices.

Moby Wrap:

I used this one the most when Virginia was first born. She never seemed to like being cocooned all in one section of fabric, so I had her sitting in there with her feet out pretty early on (she kicks anything her feet come into contact with). I got her to nap in the Moby for a while and nursed her in the Moby when she wanted to nurse non-stop for a couple of weeks. The Moby helped me gain my first bit of confidence to take Virginia out in public - to the library, to LLL meetings, to SOS meetings, etc.

As Virginia got bigger and squirmier, the versatility of the Moby allowed me to try some different positions, like a hip cary and facing out. Virginia loves facing out and especially loves having her little hands and feet in everything I am doing.

Ergo Baby:

I got the Ergo at a baby shower. I ended up not using it until Virginia was big enough to sit in it without an insert. However, once she could ride in the Ergo it became a great thing to have.

I use it mostly when I am out of the house and will be wearing Virginia for a long time. It is very easy to nurse her in it since I can adjust the straps without taking her out. She sleeps in it really well, too, with the help of the hood that keeps her head from lolling all over the place. I used the Ergo when John and I took her to the Renaissance Festival and she was quite content. She fell asleep on my back just this weekend while I was playing bocce.

Baby Bjorn:

When John wanted to start wearing Virginia we got him his own carrier. He likes how easy it is to get Virginia in and out of the Bjorn and that she can face out (baby can't face out in the Ergo). This is not to mention that when she is riding with John and wearing her sun hat she is heart-breakingly cute.

Peanut Shell:

When I was still using the Moby all the time I went to Babies R Us to look for something I could use when the Moby was in the wash. Virginia usually spit up on the Moby every time she was in it so I had to wash it sometimes. I came home with the Peanut Shell. Virginia didn't seem to like it, so it sat on the bed in my office where Socrates sat on it and covered it with cat fur.

I thought about selling it and washed it and ended up giving it another try. Right now the Peanut Shell is what we use around the house the most - for quick trips downstairs or out to the mail box. Virginia likes riding on my hip and the PS is great for holding her right there for me. We even used it in the grocery store a couple of times, although it is not as friendly on my back as carriers that go over both shoulders.

Mei Tai:

Once Virginia wanted to be carried facing out all the time I decided to get a mei tai. I found one on ebay and it has worked out great. She faces out in the mei tai when I am wearing her around the house for a longer amount of time. We have also started experimenting with back carrying (I do it sitting in the middle of the bed). This is great if I am cooking or cutting John's hair.

Water Sling:

I also got a water ring sling on ebay. It is made of mesh and doesn't retain water. We have used it for wading in the pool and even tried it in the shower.

I never thought I'd end up with so many baby carriers, but each has its purpose. I've been very glad to have so many ways to keep Virginia close to me and to involve her in my daily activities.

Renaissance Festival

Yesterday we went to the Renaissance Festival with some friends. Virginia wore the outfit she just got from Libby in Norwich. I thought the white shirt would do a good job of keeping the sun off her skin without making her too hot.

Isn't she cute?

John and I took turns wearing Virginia in our baby carriers. I had her in the Ergo Baby, which worked well for snacking and napping. John used the Baby Bjorn when Virginia wanted to face out and see the world.

Her favorite things were the parrots (one was the same age as her and could already say "hello") and the musicians in the tavern.

John's favorite things were archery:

And fencing (with John Miller):