Life Isn't Fair

When I was growing up the "f" word in our house was "fair." As in, we weren't supposed to say it. If I ever uttered the phrase "That's not fair!" the obligatory parental response was, "Life isn't fair." If the goal was to get me to stop complaining that things weren't fair, this was successful. I didn't like hearing that life wasn't fair and avoided talking about fairness altogether.

But, I was really bothered by the whole "Life isn't fair" thing. Because, on the one hand, life isn't fair and I know that sometimes you need to accept that. But on the other hand, sometimes grown-ups do things that either seem, or legitimately are, unfair. Just because unfair things happen that we can't help, does that mean we should give up on being fair ourselves?

Then, I read The Princess Bride. There is a quotation in this book: "Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." Strange as it may sound it brought me peace. It made me feel like it wasn't wrong for me to want things to be fair. It made me feel like there was a point to putting up with things that aren't fair. Life may not be fair, but it is fairer than death.

John's father died unexpectedly this past Sunday. He was dear to many people and his absence has brought a lot of sorrow. And these two things are connected. We wouldn't be so sad if he hadn't been so awesome. Death isn't fair. It is hard to accept that he is gone. But life is fairer than death because for a while he was a part of our lives and now we live on to touch others.

Hold your families close this Christmas and try to be fair. Because life isn't.