Sleep

Sleep is a big issue for people with small children. Virginia has been going through a sleep regression. She doesn't make it the whole night in her own bed most nights. But I am okay with this for two reasons:
1) She has a lot going on that could be disturbing her sleep. New teeth. New neurons firing in her brain from her massive language developments. Frequent day care sniffles. Etc.
2) Once I move her to my bed I get to go back to sleep. When I get to sleep I am a happy person.

I don't do cry-it-out, and I am not making a judgment on people who do, but it isn't for me. Early on when I discovered all the mommy blogs out there I remember reading one person's assertion that we have to teach our children that sleep is safe. This makes so much sense to me. How do babies know they are safe when they wake up alone in a dark room? They are evolutionarily programed to know they can't fend for themselves. Furthermore, as a grown woman, I still don't always feel safe when I wake up alone. I consistently had problems sleeping when I lived by myself in a studio apartment in Tuscaloosa. I know what that feels like. I know it's natural. I don't want to train Virginia to not cry. I want her to not cry because she knows she is safe.

And there are still some nights she spends the whole night in her crib. I know she wakes up, rearranges herself, and goes back to sleep on those nights. Those nights she doesn't cry because she doesn't need anything.

All this being said, her sleep regression has recently manifested as her not falling asleep while I am nursing her at night. She used to nurse to sleep most of the time, but now it is hit or miss. The problem is that John can't seem to get her to sleep at all, so I'm left wondering what to do with this awake baby who wants to get down and play.

When I turn out her light she knows she isn't leaving the room. The first couple of nights I did this there were tears. But as I held her in my arms she laid her head on my shoulder and slowly accepted that she needed to sleep. I hated to let her cry even then. But I felt that since I was holding her, she at least knew she wasn't alone. I have continued to take this approach and she has stopped crying. When the light goes out she really tries to fall asleep in my arms. Sometimes it takes a little while, but she is trying. And she always knows she is safe.

Those nights when she wasn't falling asleep and I felt like I had no strategies and John had no strategies were tough ones. But it seems like we are finally getting through it. And I have to admit that I have had some really sweet mornings waking up to a happy baby tapping me on the arm until I open my eyes, then saying, "Hi!"