Two Short Funny Stories

John's back has been hurting, so the other afternoon I offered to give him a massage. He laid down on the living room floor and I started rubbing his back. I looked up, and our cat Penelope was eying me from the futon. She sleeps there pretty much all day. She sat up and gave me a look. Then she opened her little mouth an meowed at me accusingly. She was jealous that I was petting John and not her!

Penelope crushing the futon.

At dinner recently, John got up from the table to get a beer. "Don't drink that, Daddy!" Virginia shouted. "You'll get drunk!"
"What are you talking about" I asked her.
"He already had a glass of wine!"
I said, "Virginia, Daddy can have two drinks and not get drunk. Now, if I had two drinks, I would be 'woooo'... fun."
Virginia looked at me conspiratorially. "Momma, you should have a beer."

Woo fun without beers.