Doing it Right

I didn't do a post right at the end of the spring semester - the end of the first year of my doctoral program. But I think right now, today, is actually a better time to reflect on this mile marker.

This weekend I completed my first fringe festival, in which I performed with three other talented storytellers as the Bad Ass Storytelling Quartet. We did four shows in four days, and I also told a three-minute story at the preview of all the fringe acts. We met other amazing performers and were surrounded by audience members who appreciated art for art's sake. I've recently resolved to look for more opportunities that allow me to be myself and not worry as much about the ones that would require me to change my shape to fit the mold. Fringe is an excellent place to be yourself and, for the most part, fringe attendees are really into it.

Our group did get the audience choice award, which was a nice finale to the whole experience. And the bit of extra cash will be nice, too - always a bonus to get paid for doing what you love. But the energy in the room during most of the performances was enough. Even more interesting was that the large ensemble people's choice went to another storytelling group (KSU Tellers), so look, the art of storytelling is alive and kicking.

So far, this seems to have little to do with my first year as a PhD student, but pursuing a career that allows me greater connections with storytelling has been important to me. I was able to find the time to do this performance, and I guess I've spent more time recently philosophizing on the general value of what I do. Stories really can change the world!

But also, as of today, I've gotten my final grade for the semester. (I had an "incomplete" so I could get a short extension on a final paper.) This experience has been interesting. I have a hard time taking criticism, although I realize its importance. There has been a lot of criticism, but also genuine support. Every critique of my work has been, not to point out my flaws as much as to help me be better. I really feel that everyone here wants me, and the other students, to succeed.

I've had moments of self doubt, but I have realized that tough criticism will lead to better work in the end. And, actually, the work I've done isn't bad at all. It is good, and with some refinements, will be amazing.

There have been times in my life when storytelling was the one area where I felt like I was doing something "right." The one area where I felt like people appreciated my work. I was a different person when I was storytelling.

I came home from the fringe festival to an affirmation that I am making it as a PhD student, not barely hanging on, but really making it. I'm doing something right. Today I didn't have to step down from the high of a successful series of performances to the low of fumbling through everyday life. My everyday life is just as good. And I love it.