I have joked with John recently that he is like Sir Gawain in the story of Gawain and Ragnelle, because he lets me have "my own way." This is not to say that I win every disagreement we might have. (I don't.) But he lets me pursue my interests.
Really, let is the wrong word. I'm not the sort of woman who believes she needs her husband's permission to do things. Some things, though, I really couldn't do if he didn't agree to do them with me. Like move to North Carolina so I can pursue my PhD. But more than having his agreement, I have his support. It is easier to be in school, to go to storytelling events, to run, because John actively helps make those things work with our schedule and finances.
And I have not overlooked the fact that if John is Gawain, in this analogy, then that makes me Dame Ragnelle, the Loathly Lady.
But just as Ragnelle, at the end of the story, stays beautiful all of the time, I try to remember that getting "my own way" allows me to fill the world with more beauty. "My own way" isn't about me just getting to do whatever I want. It is about me being myself, and as myself, trying to make the world a better place. I'm pretty sure that's the only way you can do it.
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