Agreeing to Disagree

Now that I have a child in elementary school, there are things I witnessed as a teacher that I get to see from the other side, as a parent.

Election Year

I substitute taught the fall semester before Virginia was born. That was the year after President Obama was elected, but feelings were still running high, even among elementary school students. The school where I was substituting had planned to show a live broadcast of President Obama giving a speech, and a child in the 3rd grade class in which I was a substitute had brought a note from home saying he was not to watch the broadcast.

Elementary school children are very aware of politics and care about what is going on and about their classmates' views - even when they don't fully understand why they like one politician and not another.

During the last election one student at the school where I was employed told another child, "You're only glad Obama won because you're black." Which caused the other little girl to cry. Elementary school children can be ugly about politics.

Virginia announced last week that "H's parents and S's parents want Hilary to win, like we do. But G's parents want Trump." She delivered the last sentence with accusation on her voice.

I know how divisive political discussions can be, starting in elementary school. And I knew I had to nudge Virginia onto a better path. I told her that one of the great things about America is that we all get to vote on who will be president. We don't all have to like the same person. This does mean, though, that after the election this November, about half the people in the county will be disappointed that their preferred candidate did not get elected. But we will all still have to live with one another. We have to be able to get along, even when we don't agree. I told her that it was okay for her and G to disagree on who should be president. And that it didn't mean that they couldn't be friends.

Children are so used to their parents being "right" about most things that when they hear their parents talk about politics they take what is said as fact. And they don't hesitate to tell other kids that they are "wrong" for holding different views. Of course I think I'm right, but seeing the attention Virginia gives to this topic has challenged me 1) to give her real reasons I feel the way I do so she understands what my preference for one candidate or another is based upon and 2) to help her understand that sometimes making the "right" choice is complicated. You have to recognize that other people are going to have a different definition of "right" from you.

Agreeing to disagree is a life skill. Maybe I can help make the world a better place by teaching my kids about it now.