Virginiaisms With Bonus French!

Virginia often falls asleep in the car on the ride to day care in the morning. One morning as I went to unbuckle her, her eyes flew open. I asked, “Were you just pretending to sleep? Were you playing possum?”
About a week later we arrived at day care and when I opened her door she looked asleep. But then, with her eyes still closed I saw a smile creeping across her face. I asked, “What are you doing?”
She said, “I’m a possum.”

After months (years) of asking Virginia about her day and getting no real response, I finally figured out that if I ask her about emotions she will remember things and share them with me. I ask what made her mad, sad, happy, and what made her laugh. One afternoon while we were driving home and having this conversation, I asked what made Virginia laugh that day and she started laughing so hard remembering it that she could hardly tell me! Then she tried to say it several times and I couldn’t understand her through the giggles that kept erupting. By this time I was laughing, too, and I didn’t even really know what was so funny. Finally I thought I understood, “You said, ‘Sleeping Beauty Butt?’”
She laughed, “Yes! I told [my friend] Sleeping Beauty Butt!”

One evening earlier this week, Virginia took a shower with me. She was giving me a hard time about getting out of the shower and then about coming out from under the towel to put on her pajamas. I told her, “Look, if you are going to pitch a fit about this, you don’t have to take a shower with me next time.”
Virginia crossed her arms and scowled at me and said, “You better not fitch a pit at me, Momma!”

Speaking of the scowl, one afternoon Virginia was whining from the back seat, “My eyebrows hurt!” I told her to stop frowning.

We watched Julie and Julia with Sugar recently and since then Virginia has started saying, “Bon appetit!” We also have a jar of apricot preserves by “Bonne Maman.” During another afternoon car conversation...
Virginia: “Momma, you are a bon appetit!”
Me: “No, I’m not. I’m a bonne maman!”
Virginia: “I’m a bon appetit!”
Me: “You are a bonne petite mademoiselle.”
Virginia: “You are a mademoiselle!”
Me: “I am a madame, because I am married.”
Virginia: “Boogery! You are a boogery!”
Me: “You are a mademoiselle boogery!”
Virginia: “You are a madame boogery!”