The party was at my house and we have had a small fly problem that was mostly resolved with non-toxic (to humans and pets) fly spray. There was just the one lone fly still hanging around, and maybe he had been hit with the spray earlier in the day because he seemed to not be moving so very fast.
Either that, or time slowed down. It was this perfect moment. I saw the fly about shoulder-level. Somehow I knew that I could just reach out an catch him. And I did.
But then...
I had a live fly in my hand, which commenced to buzzing its wings and scrambling its little fly feet against my palm.
I started yelling something like, "It's in my hand! The fly is in my hand!" My sister, nearby, hadn't actually seen what had happened and didn't know what I was going on about. She started laughing at me!
I ran over to the sink, turned on the water, and opened my hand under the running water, thinking the fly might be washed down the drain. It wasn't. It escaped.
My sister continued laughing at me until she was almost crying. Because when you are sisters there are lots of "you had to be there" moments that are really funny to you and maybe not anyone else.
Like this time when I was home from college and my sister and I went out shopping together. We finished at the store and walked back to her car. I had the hiccups.
There is a hiccup remedy I use that works for me every time. I drink water while holding my breath and closing my nose and ears. If this sounds tricky, it is. In my "old age" I have gotten cleaver enough to get a mouthful of water first, and then occupy my hands with closing orifices.
But what I used to do was use my thumbs to push my ear flaps in, my index fingers to each pinch one nostril closed, and then my pinkies to pick up a glass and bring it to my lips. This would involve moving my whole upper body towards the glass, since my pinkies were in close proximity to other fingers performing other duties around my face. Then I would have to bend over again to put the glass down while still holding my ears and nose closed, because it takes a few moments for the remedy to work.
So my sister and I got into the car and I remembered I had half a can of coke. I took the coke can, put it between my legs, plugged my nose and ears, and leaned down to get the can between my pinkies. I successfully sipped out of the can and I now had a mouthful of coke I was preparing to swallow. (Swallowing is more difficult with your nose and ears plugged, which may have something to do with why this hiccup remedy works.)
I suddenly realized that I couldn't put the coke can down, either between my legs, or in the cup holder. I just didn't have the dexterity to maneuver it with my pinkies, and with my whole head moving along with the can. I looked out of the corner of my eye at my sister, who had a "WTF" look on her face and tried to telepathically tell her I needed help.
She must have understood because she slowly reached over and took the can from between my pinkies. After she set it down she started laughing at me. I swallowed quickly and started laughing, too. With tears running down our faces, we drove home.
Don't understand what is soooooooo funny? You had to be there.
A picture of me and Amanda when I was in grad school at Alabama and she came to visit me.
No comments:
Post a Comment